## Chapter 1 — Rogue's Booth Afterlife was busy. Not unusually busy. Not "someone exploded a corpo convoy" busy. Not "Maelstrom discovered a new recreational drug" busy. Just normal Afterlife busy. Which, by any reasonable standard, still qualified as a public safety concern. Ace threaded her way through the crowd with practiced indifference. Mai walked beside her, silver hair catching flashes of neon and holo-advertisements leaking in from outside. Shammy followed half a step behind. Or perhaps the atmosphere followed her. It was difficult to tell sometimes. Several people noticed them. One person immediately looked away. Another finished his drink and relocated to a different table. A third simply nodded. Night City had developed survival instincts. --- "Something's wrong." Mai hadn't said a word since entering. Ace glanced at her. "You've been saying that since Watson." "Yes." "And?" Mai looked toward Rogue's booth. "Rogue asked us to come immediately." "That's unusual?" "She used the word immediately." Ace paused. That was unusual. --- Shammy looked thoughtful. "Maybe somebody died." "Rogue doesn't call meetings because somebody died." "Maybe several people died." "That's more likely." --- They reached the booth. And immediately realized none of them had guessed correctly. --- Rogue was sitting alone. Smoking. Looking annoyed. --- Not angry. Not worried. --- Annoyed. --- The difference mattered. --- A stack of printed reports sat on the table. Paper. Actual paper. --- Mai frowned. "Why are there documents?" --- Rogue took a drag from her cigarette. Slowly. Patiently. The way people did when trying very hard not to strangle someone. --- "Sit." --- That was not an answer. --- The Triad sat. --- Nobody spoke. --- Finally Rogue slid the reports across the table. --- Ace picked up the first one. --- A completed courier contract. --- Nothing unusual. --- Delivery successful. Client satisfied. Payment confirmed. --- She turned the page. --- Then blinked. --- Then read it again. --- Then handed it to Mai. --- "That's not us." --- Mai took the document. Read it. Paused. Read it again. --- "...that's definitely not us." --- Shammy leaned over. --- The client report included a description. --- **Three-person mercenary team.** **One short female.** **One silver-haired female.** **One tall female.** --- The silence lasted exactly three seconds. --- Then Ace slowly lowered the paper. --- "Somebody is stupid." --- Rogue pointed at the second report. --- "Keep reading." --- The second report was worse. --- Not because of what happened. Because it had also succeeded. --- Successfully. Cleanly. Professionally. --- Client satisfied. No casualties. No complaints. --- The description matched again. --- Short woman. Silver-haired woman. Tall woman. --- Triad. --- Except it wasn't. --- Mai rubbed her forehead. --- "No." --- Rogue nodded. --- "Correct." --- Shammy picked up the third report. --- A retrieval job. --- Completed. Paid. Closed. --- Same description. --- Same team. --- Same result. --- The tall woman was apparently six-foot-eight. --- Shammy stared at the page. --- "I'm not six-foot-eight." --- Ace looked at her. --- "Is that your biggest concern?" --- "That's absurdly tall." --- "You're almost two meters." --- "That's different." --- "How?" --- Shammy thought about it. --- "...I don't know." --- Mai closed the folder. --- "Someone is impersonating us." --- Rogue pointed a finger at her. --- "Technically." --- Mai frowned. --- "What does that mean?" --- Rogue reached beneath the stack. Produced another file. --- This one was a complaint. --- Not from a victim. --- From a receptionist. --- Ace read the highlighted section. --- Then looked genuinely confused. --- "I've never met this woman." --- "I know." Rogue replied. --- The highlighted sentence read: --- _"Please inform Ace that threatening administrative personnel is not an acceptable negotiation strategy."_ --- Ace stared. --- Then looked at Rogue. --- Then at the paper. --- Then back at Rogue. --- "I didn't do that." --- "I know." --- "I have literally never been there." --- "I know." --- Mai took the report. --- Read the statement. --- Paused. --- Then slowly looked up. --- "Wait." --- "What?" Ace asked. --- Mai pointed at the complaint. --- "The fake Ace threatened the receptionist." --- "Apparently." --- Mai frowned. --- "That's wrong." --- Silence. --- Rogue blinked. --- Ace blinked. --- Shammy blinked. --- Mai looked around the table. --- "What?" --- Ace pointed at the paper. --- "She threatened someone." --- "Yes." --- "You are objecting to methodology?" --- "Of course." --- Mai looked offended. --- "If Ace threatens someone, it should be effective." --- The silence lasted four seconds. --- Then Rogue slowly pinched the bridge of her nose. --- Ace stared at Mai. --- Shammy immediately lost the fight against laughter. --- "Mai." Ace said carefully. --- "Yes?" --- "You just criticized fake me for being inefficient." --- "Correct." --- Rogue lowered her hand. Looked at the ceiling. Looked back at the Triad. --- And for the first time since they arrived, genuine exasperation appeared. --- "Do you understand my problem now?" --- Nobody answered. --- Because unfortunately... they did. --- This wasn't identity theft. This wasn't sabotage. This wasn't revenge. --- Somebody had stolen the Triad's reputation. --- And somehow managed to do competent work with it. --- Rogue leaned back. Took another drag from her cigarette. --- Then delivered the sentence that officially launched the investigation. --- "I want my goddamn paperwork back." --- # Chapter 2 — The First Complaint Rogue's irritation somehow managed to survive another ten minutes. That alone impressed Ace. Most people ran out of anger eventually. Rogue appeared to cultivate hers professionally. --- The stack of reports remained on the table. --- Mai was already sorting them. --- Naturally. --- The silver-haired woman had developed an unhealthy relationship with organized information years ago. --- Ace watched her rearrange papers. --- "You're enjoying this." --- "No." --- "You are." --- "No." --- "You have the look." --- Mai didn't even glance up. --- "What look?" --- "The one where somebody gave you a puzzle." --- A pause. --- "...that is not a look." --- "It absolutely is." --- Shammy nodded. --- "It is." --- Mai looked betrayed. --- "You too?" --- "Sorry." --- "Not helping." --- Rogue pointed at another folder. --- "Focus." --- The folder was marked: **CLIENT COMPLAINT** --- Ace immediately groaned. --- "Another receptionist?" --- "Worse." --- "How?" --- Rogue slid the document across the table. --- Ace opened it. --- Read the first paragraph. --- Then immediately started laughing. --- That got everyone's attention. --- Even Rogue. --- "What?" --- Ace pushed the paper toward Mai. --- Mai read it. --- Then slowly lowered it. --- "...oh no." --- Shammy leaned in. --- The complaint read: --- _"The silver-haired member of your team spent twenty-two minutes explaining why my filing system was structurally unsound."_ --- Silence. --- Then: --- _"I would like compensation for emotional damages."_ --- The booth exploded. --- Shammy doubled over laughing. --- Ace nearly dropped the folder. --- Even Rogue looked momentarily defeated. --- Mai stared at the page. --- Horrified. --- "Twenty-two minutes?" --- Ace pointed at her. --- "THAT'S your problem?" --- "It should have taken less than ten." --- Shammy completely lost it. --- A nearby merc glanced over. Immediately regretted becoming involved. Looked away. --- Rogue took a long drag from her cigarette. --- "You understand my concern." --- "No." Ace replied honestly. --- Rogue pointed at the complaint. --- "The client thought it was Mai." --- Mai looked offended again. --- "That woman spent twenty-two minutes discussing filing systems." --- "Yes." --- "I would never." --- Ace blinked. --- The table went quiet. --- Then: --- "You absolutely would." --- "No." --- "You absolutely would." --- "Twenty-two minutes is excessive." --- "THAT'S NOT A DENIAL." --- Shammy slid lower in her chair. Trying unsuccessfully to breathe. --- Rogue waited until the laughter died. --- Then produced a final piece of evidence. --- A datapad. --- "Security footage." --- Now the room actually focused. --- Because reports were funny. --- Video was useful. --- Rogue tapped the screen. --- A grainy recording appeared. --- Corporate lobby. Bad camera angle. Average quality. --- Three figures entered. --- The booth immediately fell silent. --- Because at first glance... it was them. --- Almost. --- The height was right. --- The silhouettes were right. --- The overall shape was right. --- Then Ace noticed it. --- "Walk." --- Mai paused the video. --- Rewound. --- Played it again. --- The small woman crossed the lobby. --- Ace frowned immediately. --- "That's wrong." --- "How?" Rogue asked. --- "She walks like she expects permission." --- The booth went silent. --- Mai stared. --- Then nodded. --- "...she does." --- The fake Ace moved carefully. Politely. Professionally. --- Not badly. --- Just... not Ace. --- The real Ace moved like obstacles were temporary suggestions. --- The fake Mai was easier. --- She stopped beside a receptionist. Said something. --- The receptionist visibly sagged. --- Mai winced. --- "Oh no." --- "What?" Shammy asked. --- "She's explaining something." --- The footage had no audio. --- Nobody needed audio. --- The body language said enough. --- The receptionist looked trapped. --- Completely trapped. --- Ace pointed. --- "That one is closer." --- "I hate that you're right." Mai replied. --- Then came the tall woman. --- The fake Shammy. --- She crossed the lobby. Stopped. --- Bent down. --- And petted a corporate lobby dog. --- The footage froze. --- Nobody moved. --- Shammy stared. --- Then pointed at the screen. --- "I like her." --- Ace immediately looked at her. --- "Based on WHAT?" --- "She's petting the dog." --- "That's your criteria?" --- "Currently yes." --- Rogue lowered the datapad. --- And sighed. --- "There." --- Nobody answered. --- Because now they understood the real problem. --- This wasn't a rival crew. --- This wasn't sabotage. --- This wasn't even identity theft in the normal Night City sense. --- Somebody had looked at the Triad. Studied them. Copied them. --- Then somehow managed to get all the details almost right. --- Which was much worse than getting them completely wrong. --- Mai folded her arms. --- "How many jobs?" --- Rogue answered instantly. --- "Confirmed?" --- A pause. --- Then: --- "Nine." --- The booth froze. --- Nine. --- Not one. Not two. --- Nine. --- Nine successful jobs. Nine clients. Nine reports. Nine opportunities for somebody to realize something was wrong. --- Nobody had. --- Rogue looked around the table. --- Then delivered the sentence that made Ace's eye twitch. --- "They've got another one scheduled tomorrow." --- Silence. --- Ace leaned forward. --- "Good." --- Rogue raised an eyebrow. --- "Good?" --- "Tomorrow they stop being theoretical." --- A small smile appeared. The dangerous one. --- "Tomorrow we catch them." --- And somewhere in Night City, three mercs who had accidentally built their careers by borrowing the Triad's reputation were about to have a very interesting day. 😄 --- # Chapter 3 — Following the Fake Gig The next morning began with coffee. Bad coffee. --- Not terrible coffee. Not poisonous coffee. Not coffee capable of starting a gang war. --- Just deeply disappointing coffee. --- Ace stared into the cup. --- "Somewhere a bean died for this." --- Mai glanced over her datapad. --- "You say that every time." --- "Because Night City keeps proving me right." --- Shammy took a sip. Paused. --- "...she has a point." --- Mai sighed. --- Betrayed again. --- The briefing was taking place in a rented van parked across the street from a small office complex in Rancho Coronado. --- One of Rogue's contacts had tipped them off. --- The fake Triad had accepted another job. --- Same pattern. --- Simple retrieval. Simple delivery. Professional client. --- Nothing unusual. --- Except for the fact that somebody else was pretending to be them. --- Ace checked the time. --- "They should be here." --- As if on cue, a vehicle rolled around the corner. --- Silence immediately filled the van. --- The vehicle stopped. --- Three women stepped out. --- And every member of the real Triad simultaneously had the same reaction. --- "...oh come on." --- Because they looked even more like them in person. --- Not identical. --- Not even close under proper examination. --- But from a distance? --- Absolutely. --- The short woman stepped out first. --- Black jacket. Dark hair. Compact build. --- She even carried two swords. --- Ace stared. --- Then slowly lowered her binoculars. --- "Okay." --- Mai looked over. --- "What?" --- "That's offensive." --- "Which part?" --- "The swords." --- Silence. --- "The swords?" --- "Yes." --- Ace pointed. --- "Those are decorative." --- The fake Ace had clearly purchased two tactical-looking blades from somebody who described them as "combat ready." --- Ace had opinions. --- Many opinions. --- None of them polite. --- The silver-haired woman emerged next. --- Tablet in hand. --- Already reading something. --- Already typing. --- Already apparently correcting something. --- Mai's expression became increasingly complicated. --- "No." --- "What now?" Shammy asked. --- Mai pointed. --- "She uses bullet points incorrectly." --- Ace looked. --- "How can you tell from here?" --- "I can tell." --- Which unfortunately sounded exactly like something Mai would say. --- Then the tall woman appeared. --- The fake Shammy. --- She waved at a passing maintenance worker. --- The maintenance worker waved back. --- The fake Shammy smiled. --- The maintenance worker visibly looked happier. --- Real Shammy immediately looked pleased. --- "I still like her." --- Ace buried her face in her hands. --- Of course she did. --- The three impostors entered the office building. --- The real Triad followed. --- Not directly. --- Professionally. --- Mostly. --- Ace still occasionally muttered about the swords. --- Inside, the operation proceeded with remarkable efficiency. --- The fake Triad met the client. --- Collected a secure case. --- Verified payment. --- Confirmed delivery route. --- Left. --- No drama. No mistakes. No chaos. --- Everything was clean. --- Almost annoyingly clean. --- Mai frowned. --- "They're good." --- Nobody liked hearing that. --- Least of all Ace. --- "They're competent." --- "They're organized." --- "They're prepared." --- A pause. --- Then: --- "They filed the paperwork before leaving." --- The van became silent. --- Ace looked at her. --- "That's what impressed you?" --- "Yes." --- The fake Mai had apparently completed administrative documentation before the real delivery even began. --- Mai looked both horrified and impressed. --- Mostly horrified. --- The chase continued. --- Across two districts. --- Through moderate traffic. --- Past a food market. --- Past three separate police incidents. --- And one completely unrelated street performer dressed as a vending machine. --- Nobody questioned that. --- This was Night City. --- Eventually the fake Triad arrived at a warehouse. --- The package changed hands. --- Payment was confirmed. --- Job complete. --- Simple. --- Professional. --- Successful. --- The three impostors exited the building. --- And immediately found the real Triad waiting outside. --- Silence. --- Complete silence. --- The fake Ace froze. --- The fake Mai froze. --- The fake Shammy froze. --- The real Ace folded her arms. --- The real Mai folded her arms. --- The real Shammy waved. --- The fake Shammy automatically waved back. --- A beat passed. --- Then she realized what she'd done. --- "...oh." --- Nobody moved. --- Nobody spoke. --- Then the fake Ace looked at the real Ace. --- Looked at the swords on her back. --- Looked at her own swords. --- And quietly said: --- "Well." --- A pause. --- Then: --- "This is awkward." --- Ace immediately nodded. --- "Correct." --- The fake Mai closed her eyes. --- The fake Shammy looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and live there permanently. --- For perhaps five full seconds nobody said anything. --- Then the fake Ace pointed toward the warehouse. --- "Before we continue..." --- A pause. --- "We did finish the delivery." --- The real Triad just stared. --- The fake Ace looked genuinely hopeful. --- "Professionally." --- Ace turned toward Mai. --- "Are they serious?" --- Mai stared at the three impostors. --- Then slowly answered. --- "...I think they are." --- And somehow that made the entire situation even funnier. 😄 --- # Chapter 4 — This Is Awkward Nobody reached for a weapon. Which, by Night City standards, already qualified as a diplomatic breakthrough. --- The two groups stood in the warehouse parking lot. --- Six women. --- Three originals. Three copies. --- And one growing sense that reality had wandered into comedy by mistake. --- The fake Ace finally cleared her throat. --- "Okay." --- Nobody answered. --- She pointed at the warehouse. --- "The package arrived." --- Still nobody answered. --- "The client is happy." --- Ace stared. --- The fake Ace shifted uncomfortably. --- "We did the paperwork." --- Mai's eyes narrowed. --- "Show me." --- The fake Mai immediately produced a datapad. --- The real Mai blinked. --- The fake Mai handed it over. --- Without hesitation. --- Without argument. --- Without fear. --- Which somehow felt more suspicious than running. --- Mai reviewed the documents. --- The parking lot became very quiet. --- The fake Trio watched nervously. --- The real Ace watched Mai. --- Shammy watched everyone. --- After thirty seconds Mai lowered the datapad. --- "...dammit." --- Ace immediately recognized that tone. --- That was not victory. --- That was professional annoyance. --- "What?" --- Mai handed over the datapad. --- "Read page three." --- Ace read page three. --- Then page four. --- Then page five. --- A long pause followed. --- "Goddammit." --- The fake Ace looked hopeful. --- "Good paperwork?" --- "Excellent paperwork." --- The fake Trio visibly relaxed. --- Then immediately froze again. --- Because Ace continued. --- "Which somehow makes this worse." --- The fake Shammy quietly nodded. --- "Fair." --- The real Shammy pointed at her. --- "I still like her." --- The fake Shammy looked surprisingly pleased by that. --- The fake Ace buried her face in one hand. --- "We are not helping ourselves." --- "No." The fake Mai agreed. --- "We are not." --- The real Mai folded her arms. --- "Let's begin with something simple." --- The fake Trio immediately looked like students called into the principal's office. --- "Names." --- The fake Ace answered first. --- "Rina." --- The fake Mai. --- "Jules." --- The fake Shammy. --- "Tess." --- Ace pointed at Rina. --- "Why the swords?" --- Rina looked genuinely confused. --- "What do you mean?" --- "The swords." --- Rina looked down. --- Then back up. --- "They're cool." --- The silence was immediate. --- Complete. --- Absolute. --- Even a passing delivery drone seemed disappointed. --- Ace slowly turned toward Mai. --- Then toward Shammy. --- Then back toward Rina. --- "They're decorative." --- Rina looked offended. --- "They are tactical replicas." --- Ace made a sound normally associated with physical pain. --- Jules quietly took one step away from Rina. --- Tess looked at the sky. --- Clearly this conversation had happened before. --- Many times. --- The real Shammy was trying very hard not to laugh. --- Failing. --- Badly. --- Eventually Mai took control. --- Again. --- "Why us?" --- The amusement vanished. --- Not entirely. --- But enough. --- Because finally they had reached the actual question. --- Rina exchanged a glance with Jules. --- Jules exchanged a glance with Tess. --- Nobody seemed eager to answer. --- That worried the real Triad slightly. --- Not because they expected danger. --- Because they expected stupidity. --- And stupidity was often harder to survive. --- Finally Jules sighed. --- "You want the honest answer?" --- Ace immediately answered. --- "Usually." --- Jules pointed at her. --- "That." --- Silence. --- Ace blinked. --- "What?" --- "That." --- Jules pointed again. --- "The way you said that." --- Nobody understood. --- Not yet. --- Jules rubbed her forehead. --- "You three have a reputation." --- Rina nodded. --- "Big one." --- Tess nodded. --- "Huge one." --- The real Triad waited. --- Then Ace spoke. --- "...okay?" --- Rina sighed. --- "No, see, that's the problem." --- The confusion deepened. --- Jules took over. --- "Most crews in Night City have reputations." --- "Yes." --- "Some are dangerous." --- "Yes." --- "Some are unreliable." --- "Yes." --- "Some are psychopaths." --- "Definitely yes." --- Jules pointed toward the real Triad. --- "You are all three." --- The parking lot exploded. --- Even Mai laughed. --- Actual laughter. --- Rare enough to qualify as an astronomical event. --- Rina pointed at Ace. --- "Nobody wants to discover the rumors are true." --- She pointed at Mai. --- "Nobody wants to argue with her." --- She pointed at Shammy. --- "And nobody wants to disappoint her." --- Tess nodded solemnly. --- "It's weirdly effective." --- The real Shammy looked horrified. --- "I'm not intimidating." --- All three impostors immediately stared at her. --- The silence lasted several seconds. --- Then: --- "...what?" --- The fake Trio looked genuinely concerned. --- As if they had just discovered a dangerous head injury. --- The real Ace sat down on a concrete barrier because standing was becoming difficult. --- This was rapidly becoming one of the funniest conversations she'd had all year. --- And she hadn't even reached the truly important question yet. --- She looked at the three impostors. --- Then slowly smiled. --- The dangerous smile. --- The one that usually preceded trouble. --- "Okay." --- Rina immediately looked nervous. --- "Okay?" --- Ace folded her arms. --- "If you're borrowing our reputation..." --- A pause. --- "Tell me exactly what people think I do." --- The fake Trio immediately looked at each other. --- Nobody wanted to answer first. --- Which told Ace everything she needed to know. --- And made her want to hear it even more. 😄 --- # Chapter 5 — The Rumors The fake Trio looked like three people standing in front of an armed minefield. And Ace had just asked them to take a step forward. --- Nobody answered. --- Ace smiled. --- That made it worse. --- Rina pointed immediately. --- "See?" --- Ace blinked. --- "What?" --- "That." --- "The smiling?" --- "Yes." --- The fake Trio looked genuinely alarmed. --- The real Triad exchanged looks. --- Mai was already enjoying this. Which was dangerous. --- Shammy was trying to be supportive. Which was somehow even more dangerous. --- Ace folded her arms. --- "Talk." --- Rina looked at Jules. --- Jules looked at Tess. --- Tess looked at the sky. --- The sky offered no assistance. --- Finally Rina sighed. --- "Okay." --- A pause. --- "People think you're a cyberpsycho." --- The parking lot became silent. --- Ace blinked. --- Once. --- Twice. --- Then: --- "What." --- Tess immediately raised both hands. --- "Not an actual cyberpsycho." --- "That did not improve the sentence." --- Jules stepped in. --- "You're Night City folklore." --- Ace looked offended. --- "I'm twenty-something." --- "That's not what folklore means." Mai replied. --- "You're not helping." --- "No." --- Jules continued. --- "Nobody knows where the stories start." --- Rina nodded. --- "Or which ones are true." --- Tess nodded too. --- "Or which ones are impossible." --- Ace looked toward Mai. --- Mai looked toward Ace. --- Then quietly: --- "That sounds about right." --- "Mai." --- "I'm being objective." --- "Stop being objective." --- "No." --- The fake Trio relaxed slightly. --- The real Triad apparently weren't angry. --- Yet. --- That helped. --- A little. --- "Okay." Ace pointed at Rina. --- "What exactly do people think I do?" --- Rina immediately regretted existing. --- "You asked." --- "I did." --- "You promised not to stab anyone." --- "I did not." --- A pause. --- "...fair." --- Rina took a deep breath. --- Then began. --- "People think you once cut through an armored vehicle." --- Ace looked confused. --- "What vehicle?" --- "No idea." --- "That's not how stories work." --- "Night City." --- Unfortunately that was a complete explanation. --- Rina continued. --- "People think bullets avoid you." --- "No." --- "They don't." --- "They absolutely do not." --- Jules shrugged. --- "That's the rumor." --- Ace looked increasingly offended. --- "Bullets hit me all the time." --- The fake Trio stared. --- The real Triad stared. --- The parking lot stared. --- Then Ace realized what she'd said. --- "...that came out wrong." --- "It really did." Shammy agreed. --- Jules checked something on her datapad. --- "Oh." --- "No." Ace said immediately. --- "There's a list." --- "Of course there's a list." --- "There are forums." --- "Of course there are forums." --- "There's a ranking." --- Ace closed her eyes. --- "There would be." --- The fake Trio exchanged glances. --- Then Tess quietly spoke up. --- "The funniest one isn't about Ace." --- Now everyone looked at her. --- Including Rina. --- Including Jules. --- Including the real Triad. --- Tess immediately looked nervous. --- "Can I say it?" --- Rina considered. --- Then: --- "Honestly, we're already dead." --- Fair. --- Tess pointed at Mai. --- The silence arrived before she even spoke. --- "People think she's the scary one." --- Ace immediately nodded. --- "Correct." --- Mai looked offended. --- "What?" --- The fake Trio all pointed at her simultaneously. --- All three. --- Exactly together. --- Like a rehearsed maneuver. --- Mai stared. --- "...why?" --- The fake Trio looked genuinely baffled. --- Because to them the answer was obvious. --- Jules finally spoke. --- "Because Ace looks dangerous." --- "Okay." --- "Everybody expects Ace to be dangerous." --- "Also okay." --- "Then they meet you." --- Mai waited. --- The fake Trio waited. --- The real Triad waited. --- Finally Jules finished. --- "...and you start explaining things." --- The entire parking lot collapsed into laughter. --- Even Ace. --- Even Shammy. --- Even Rina. --- Mai stood alone in a sea of betrayal. --- "I am being mocked." --- "Yes." Ace replied immediately. --- "And unfairly." --- "No." --- "Extremely unfairly." --- "No." --- "Statistically unfairly." --- That made it worse. --- Much worse. --- The fake Trio were nearly crying now. --- Tess pointed at Mai. --- "You once made a corporate accountant apologize to you." --- Mai blinked. --- "What?" --- "It was all over the forums." --- "I don't even know what you're talking about." --- Ace looked thoughtful. --- "I do." --- Mai turned slowly. --- "No." --- "That sounds exactly like something you would do." --- The fake Trio immediately agreed. --- Enthusiastically. --- And that was when Shammy made the mistake. --- A fatal mistake. --- She smiled. --- And asked: --- "What do people say about me?" --- The fake Trio froze. --- Immediately. --- All humor vanished. --- Gone. --- The real Triad noticed. --- "Oh no." Ace said. --- "Oh yes." Rina replied. --- The fake Trio exchanged looks. --- Nobody wanted to answer. --- Which was somehow the worst possible sign. --- Shammy tilted her head. --- "What?" --- Jules pointed at Ace. --- "People think she's dangerous." --- Then at Mai. --- "People think she's terrifying." --- Then at Shammy. --- A long pause. --- A very long pause. --- Finally: --- "People think you're disappointed in them." --- Complete silence. --- The fake Trio looked genuinely uncomfortable. --- The real Triad stared. --- Shammy blinked. --- "What does that even mean?" --- Rina immediately answered. --- "Nobody knows." --- "That is not an answer." --- "It doesn't need to be." --- Another pause. --- Then Tess quietly added: --- "It's way worse." --- And for the first time all afternoon... Shammy looked genuinely concerned. 😄 --- # Chapter 6 — The Worst Reputation Shammy looked around the parking lot. At the fake Trio. At the real Trio. At reality itself. --- "I'm disappointed in people?" --- Rina immediately winced. --- "See?" --- "See what?" --- "That." --- "That what?" --- The fake Trio exchanged glances. --- Nobody wanted responsibility for this. --- Eventually Jules accepted her fate. --- "You're not disappointed." --- "Good." --- "You just look disappointed." --- "That's worse." --- "Exactly." --- Shammy stared. --- Then looked toward Ace. --- Then toward Mai. --- Then back toward the fake Trio. --- "I smile." --- The fake Trio collectively made a face. --- Not a rude face. --- A sympathetic face. --- The kind used when somebody says something deeply unfortunate about themselves. --- Ace immediately sat down again. --- Because standing while laughing was becoming dangerous. --- "You do smile." --- "Thank you." --- Ace raised one finger. --- "After people survive." --- The fake Trio immediately nodded. --- Enthusiastically. --- "YES." --- Shammy looked betrayed. --- "That's not true." --- The silence that followed was devastating. --- Because nobody could immediately provide evidence. --- Not even Ace. --- Not even Mai. --- The real Shammy slowly turned toward Mai. --- "Mai." --- Mai considered. --- Very carefully. --- Then: --- "...you smile more than Ace." --- "Thank you." --- Another pause. --- "...which is an alarmingly low bar." --- The fake Trio exploded. --- Rina nearly dropped her datapad. --- Tess was laughing so hard she had to sit on a crate. --- Even Jules looked like she needed medical attention. --- Shammy stared into the distance. --- "Wow." --- Ace patted her shoulder. --- "Welcome to my world." --- "You're enjoying this." --- "Immensely." --- The fake Trio eventually recovered. --- Mostly. --- Then Ace noticed something. --- A detail. --- A very important detail. --- She pointed at Rina. --- "Wait." --- Rina immediately looked nervous. --- "What?" --- "You said forums." --- "...yes." --- "Plural." --- "...yes." --- Ace closed her eyes. --- Of course there were multiple forums. --- Of course. --- Night City couldn't just have one terrible idea. --- It needed several. --- "How famous are we?" --- The fake Trio immediately became uncomfortable. --- That was not encouraging. --- Mai noticed too. --- "Define famous." --- Jules looked at the ground. --- The ground offered no assistance. --- Tess tried looking at the sky. --- The sky remained equally useless. --- Finally Rina sighed. --- "Okay." --- A pause. --- "Do you know what a tier list is?" --- The real Triad immediately looked suspicious. --- "Why?" Ace asked. --- "No reason." --- "Why?" --- "No reason." --- "WHY?" --- Rina slowly opened her datapad. --- And showed the screen. --- The entire parking lot went silent. --- Completely. --- Utterly. --- Because somebody. Somewhere. At some point. --- Had created: --- **NIGHT CITY MERC THREAT INDEX** --- And it had rankings. --- Lots of rankings. --- Too many rankings. --- Far too many rankings. --- Ace immediately hated everything. --- "Why does this exist?" --- "Internet." --- That was unfortunately a complete answer. --- Mai leaned closer. --- The rankings continued for pages. --- Mercs. Fixers. Solos. Gangs. Cyberpsychos. Corporate security teams. --- Everything. --- Ranked. --- Categorized. --- Discussed. --- Argued about. --- The internet had once again proven itself a mistake. --- Then Ace saw it. --- "Oh no." --- Shammy saw it too. --- "Oh no." --- Mai already knew. --- "Oh no." --- At the very top sat a category. --- Not S-Tier. Not Elite. Not Apex. --- No. --- Some idiot had apparently invented something worse. --- The category was labeled: --- **ABSOLUTELY NOT** --- The fake Trio looked deeply uncomfortable. --- Ace pointed at it. --- Slowly. --- Carefully. --- The way one points at an unexploded bomb. --- "Why." --- Rina immediately answered. --- "Not my website." --- "WHY." --- Jules took over. --- "People made it after the Voodoo Boys thing." --- Ace looked horrified. --- "The WHICH thing?" --- "The Voodoo Boys thing." --- "There have been multiple Voodoo Boys things." --- "Exactly." --- That somehow made it worse. --- The fake Trio scrolled. --- The top category contained exactly three entries. --- The first was a cyberpsycho. --- The second was apparently a Maelstrom lieutenant whose hobbies included murder. --- The third was: --- **The Triad** --- Collectively. --- As one entry. --- The parking lot became silent. --- Very silent. --- Dangerously silent. --- Then Ace pointed. --- "Why are we a single entry?" --- The fake Trio answered simultaneously. --- "Because nobody wants to fight all three." --- Honestly? Fair. --- Then they noticed something else. --- Something much worse. --- A small note beneath the ranking. --- Ace read it. --- Then read it again. --- Then slowly lowered the datapad. --- "...Mai." --- Mai was already reading. --- "...I see it." --- Shammy looked between them. --- "What?" --- Neither answered. --- Which was immediately alarming. --- "What?" --- Ace handed over the datapad. --- Shammy read the note. --- The fake Trio immediately began backing away. --- Because they already knew what was written there. --- The note read: --- **Primary reason for placement disputed.** **Forum remains divided on whether Ace, Mai, or Shammy is the actual problem.** --- And below that... --- A discussion thread. --- Three hundred and eighty-seven pages long. --- The fake Trio watched in horror. --- Because they suddenly realized what was about to happen. --- The real Triad had discovered the argument. --- And there was absolutely no universe in which they were going to let that go. 😄 --- # Chapter 7 — The Argument Nobody moved. Nobody spoke. Nobody breathed particularly confidently. --- Three hundred and eighty-seven pages. --- Three. Hundred. And. Eighty-seven. Pages. --- Ace stared at the datapad. --- Then at the fake Trio. --- Then back at the datapad. --- "People had a debate." --- "Yes." Jules answered carefully. --- "A three-hundred-and-eighty-seven-page debate." --- "...yes." --- "A three-hundred-and-eighty-seven-page debate about which one of us is the problem." --- The fake Trio nodded. --- Slowly. --- Like people approaching a sleeping landmine. --- Shammy looked horrified. --- Mai looked offended. --- Ace looked fascinated. --- Which was somehow the worst reaction. --- "Oh this is happening." --- Mai immediately pointed. --- "No." --- Ace was already scrolling. --- "Oh yes." --- The fake Trio backed away another step. --- Because they had seen this happen before. --- Not with the Triad. --- But with internet discussions. --- Nobody won. --- Ever. --- Ace began reading aloud. --- ### Page 1 > Ace is obviously the problem. --- Ace nodded. --- "Reasonable." --- Mai looked at her. --- "What?" --- "That's a solid opening argument." --- Shammy buried her face in her hands. --- This was already going badly. --- Ace continued. --- > Evidence: > > Small. > > Fast. > > Carries swords. --- The silence lasted several seconds. --- Then: --- "...okay that's actually funny." --- The fake Trio immediately relaxed. --- Good. --- The real Ace was finding this entertaining. --- That was survivable. --- Mai took the datapad. --- Scrolled. --- Stopped. --- Then visibly bristled. --- "Oh." --- Ace immediately smiled. --- "What?" --- Mai turned the screen around. --- A post. --- A very long post. --- Far too long. --- The title read: --- **Why Mai Is The Actual Threat (A Statistical Analysis)** --- The fake Trio immediately looked guilty. --- Very guilty. --- "Statistical analysis?" Ace asked. --- "Apparently." --- Mai continued reading. --- Her expression deteriorated steadily. --- The post contained: - charts - graphs - citations - references - percentages --- Someone had apparently spent several weeks building a case. --- The conclusion was highlighted. --- Mai read it aloud. --- Slowly. --- With visible pain. --- > Ace hurts you. > > Shammy disappoints you. > > Mai explains why you deserved it. --- The parking lot detonated. --- Rina collapsed against a wall. --- Tess nearly fell off the crate. --- Even Jules lost composure. --- Ace physically had to sit down. --- Shammy made a sound normally associated with dying engines. --- Mai looked ready to commit a felony. --- "That is not true." --- Nobody answered. --- Because unfortunately... it was a little true. --- A little. --- A very little. --- Enough. --- Then Shammy grabbed the datapad. --- "Okay." --- Everyone froze. --- That tone meant something. --- "What?" Ace asked. --- Shammy pointed. --- "Page two hundred and fourteen." --- Nobody liked that she already had a page number. --- Nobody liked it at all. --- The post title read: --- **The Shammy Theory** --- Ace immediately started laughing. --- "THE Shammy Theory?" --- "Apparently." --- The post opened. --- The first sentence read: --- > Shammy is not dangerous. --- Shammy nodded. --- "Correct." --- The second sentence: --- > This is exactly what makes her dangerous. --- The fake Trio immediately began laughing again. --- Shammy looked betrayed. --- "What does that even mean?" --- Nobody knew. --- Including the author. --- The post continued. --- > Every witness report describes Shammy as friendly. > > This has somehow made people more afraid. --- Ace pointed. --- "See?" --- "See WHAT?" --- "The mystery." --- "There is no mystery." --- "There absolutely is." --- Mai was still scrolling. --- Then suddenly stopped. --- "Oh no." --- Everybody looked at her. --- Even the fake Trio. --- Especially the fake Trio. --- Mai turned the screen around. --- The post title read: --- **Counterargument: The Triad Is Not Real** --- The entire parking lot went silent. --- Nobody moved. --- Nobody blinked. --- Ace read the title again. --- Then a third time. --- "...what." --- The author had apparently spent sixty-two pages arguing that: - Ace was a myth. - Mai was a myth. - Shammy was a myth. - The Triad was actually several different mercenary teams sharing a fictional identity. --- Rina quietly pointed at herself. --- "We may have contributed to that theory." --- The real Triad stared. --- The fake Trio stared back. --- A beat passed. --- Then Ace looked at Rogue's reports. --- Then at the fake Trio. --- Then at the forum thread. --- Then back at the fake Trio. --- "...you idiots." --- Rina nodded. --- "Yeah." --- The agreement was immediate. --- Total. --- Unquestionable. --- And somehow that honesty made the entire thing even funnier. --- Because for the first time since this mess began... the real problem wasn't identity theft. --- The real problem was that Night City's internet had become convinced the Triad was either: - a cyberpsycho, - a statistical anomaly, - a disappointment-based predator, - or completely fictional. --- And the fake Trio had accidentally made every single theory worse. 😄 --- # Chapter 8 — Rogue Finds The Forum The first mistake was showing Rogue the thread. The second mistake was showing Rogue the thread. The third mistake was also showing Rogue the thread. --- Nobody knew who did it. --- Ace blamed Rina. Rina blamed Jules. Jules blamed Tess. --- Tess blamed "the natural flow of events." --- Which sounded suspiciously like a confession. --- Either way, twenty-four hours later the entire group found themselves back in Afterlife. --- Rogue sat in her booth. --- Silent. --- Very silent. --- The dangerous kind. --- The kind that suggested somebody, somewhere, was about to become paperwork. --- The fake Trio occupied one side of the booth. --- The real Triad occupied the other. --- Nobody was comfortable. --- Especially not when Rogue slowly lifted a datapad. --- And asked: --- "What." --- A pause. --- "The fuck." --- Another pause. --- "Is this?" --- Nobody answered. --- Because everybody knew exactly what she was holding. --- The forum. --- The forum. --- The goddamn forum. --- Rogue slowly turned the screen around. --- The title was visible. --- **NIGHT CITY MERC THREAT INDEX** --- The comments section contained approximately enough stupidity to power a small city. --- Rogue looked at Ace. --- "You're folklore." --- Ace pointed at the screen. --- "I didn't make the website." --- Rogue looked at Mai. --- "You have a statistical analysis." --- Mai looked deeply offended. --- "I didn't write it." --- Rogue looked at Shammy. --- "You have a cult." --- Shammy blinked. --- "What?" --- Rogue zoomed in. --- Everyone leaned forward. --- There was a thread. --- A very active thread. --- Far too active. --- The title read: --- **How To Tell If Shammy Is Disappointed In You** --- The booth exploded. --- Ace nearly fell out of her chair. --- The fake Trio immediately covered their faces. --- Mai physically stopped reading. --- Shammy looked genuinely horrified. --- "What." --- Rogue scrolled. --- The thread contained: - eyewitness reports - theories - diagrams --- Actual diagrams. --- One diagram was titled: --- **SMILE INTENSITY CHART** --- Shammy stared. --- Then looked at Ace. --- Then at Mai. --- Then back at the chart. --- "Somebody made a graph." --- Ace was no longer capable of speech. --- The graph allegedly explained: - friendly smile - worried smile - dangerous smile - disappointed smile --- Nobody knew the difference. --- The author claimed they did. --- The author was wrong. --- Yet somehow the thread was three hundred pages long. --- Rogue continued scrolling. --- And then stopped. --- "Oh." --- Nobody liked that sound. --- Not from Rogue. --- Ever. --- "What?" Ace asked. --- Rogue turned the screen around. --- Another thread. --- A newer one. --- A very recent one. --- The title read: --- **Evidence The Triad Has Secretly Expanded** --- The room froze. --- Rina immediately looked at the floor. --- Jules looked at the ceiling. --- Tess looked for divine intervention. --- None arrived. --- The thread consisted almost entirely of photographs. --- Photographs of the fake Trio. --- Photographs of the real Triad. --- Photographs of both. --- The conclusion: --- The Triad had apparently recruited new members. --- And was now operating multiple teams simultaneously. --- Ace buried her face in her hands. --- "Oh my god." --- Rogue wasn't finished. --- Not even close. --- Because Rogue had discovered something far worse. --- A poll. --- The poll currently had forty-seven thousand votes. --- The question: --- **Which Triad Member Would Be Worst To Anger?** --- The booth immediately became silent. --- Very silent. --- Because everyone knew exactly what was about to happen. --- Rogue read the results. --- Third place: --- Ace. --- Ace sat up. --- "What." --- Second place: --- Shammy. --- Shammy sat up. --- "What." --- First place: --- Mai. --- Mai sat perfectly still. --- For several seconds. --- Then: --- "...I won?" --- The entire booth detonated. --- Even Rogue laughed. --- Actually laughed. --- For the first time all day. --- The fake Trio were crying. --- Ace was pointing at Mai. Unable to breathe. --- Shammy had abandoned all dignity. --- And Mai... --- Mai looked deeply, genuinely offended. --- "That is not a victory." --- The poll description immediately proved otherwise. --- Rogue read it aloud. --- > Ace might kill you. > > Shammy might forgive you. > > Mai will explain exactly why you were wrong. --- Afterlife heard the laughter. --- Several nearby mercs looked over. --- One recognized the thread. --- And immediately started laughing too. --- Which was how the situation got even worse. --- Because now Rogue knew the forum wasn't some obscure corner of the Net. --- It was popular. --- Very popular. --- And somewhere in Night City, forty-seven thousand people were currently arguing about whether Mai was more terrifying than a cyberpsycho. --- Rogue slowly leaned back. --- Lit another cigarette. --- Looked at the real Triad. Then the fake Trio. Then the datapad. --- And finally delivered the most Rogue sentence imaginable. --- "Okay." --- Nobody liked that tone. --- "Okay?" Ace asked. --- Rogue nodded. --- "New objective." --- The booth became quiet. --- Rogue pointed at the screen. --- "Find the idiot who started this website." --- The fake Trio immediately pointed at each other. --- Simultaneously. --- Exactly simultaneously. --- And for the second time that week... Rogue looked like she regretted knowing any of them. 😄 --- # Chapter 9 — The Founder The problem with Rogue having an objective was that people usually ended up doing it. Even when it was a terrible objective. Especially when it was a terrible objective. --- Three days later. --- The fake Trio. The real Triad. Kiro. And, somehow, Rogue. --- Were investigating a website. --- Ace hated everything. --- "Let's just appreciate this." --- Nobody appreciated it. --- Ace continued anyway. --- "We have investigated:" --- She started counting. --- "Corrupt corporations." --- A finger. --- "Cults." --- Another. --- "Cyberpsychos." --- Another. --- "Anomalies." --- Another. --- "Serial killers." --- Another. --- "Smugglers." --- Another. --- "Bioweapons." --- Another. --- Then she pointed at the screen. --- "And now we're hunting a forum moderator." --- The room became quiet. --- Because unfortunately... she had a point. --- Kiro appeared on the wall display. --- "I found him." --- Everyone immediately focused. --- Except Rogue. --- Rogue was already focused. --- Dangerously focused. --- "Name." --- Kiro grinned. --- "Oh, that's the funny part." --- Nobody liked that sentence anymore. --- It had become a warning label. --- "What funny part?" Mai asked. --- Kiro opened a file. --- Then another. --- Then another. --- The room became very quiet. --- Because the website founder had a handle. --- A very old handle. --- One that appeared everywhere. --- Every major thread. Every ranking. Every argument. Every poll. --- The handle was: --- **DefinitelyNotAce** --- The room exploded. --- Ace physically stood up. --- "No." --- Kiro nodded. --- "Yes." --- "No." --- "Very yes." --- Rogue slowly closed her eyes. --- The fake Trio immediately began laughing. --- Which was a mistake. --- A major mistake. --- Ace pointed at them. --- "Stop encouraging Night City." --- Rina looked deeply offended. --- "We didn't create him." --- "No." --- "You inspired him." --- "THAT IS NOT BETTER." --- Kiro opened another page. --- Things somehow got worse. --- The profile description read: --- _"Ace isn't real."_ --- Silence. --- _"The Triad is a distributed urban myth."_ --- More silence. --- _"Wake up, people."_ --- The fake Trio immediately looked guilty again. --- Mai looked toward them. --- Slowly. --- Very slowly. --- The fake Trio looked away. --- Collectively. --- "How much did you contribute to this?" --- Nobody answered. --- That answer was answer enough. --- Rogue pointed at the display. --- "Where is he?" --- Kiro grinned. --- The grin of somebody who had just discovered a priceless treasure. --- "Oh." --- "No." Ace replied immediately. --- "Oh yes." --- Kiro enlarged a map. --- A location appeared. --- A noodle shop. --- Nobody spoke. --- Another location appeared. --- A second noodle shop. --- Still nobody spoke. --- Then a third. --- The room slowly realized what they were looking at. --- The founder wasn't hiding. --- The founder was unemployed. --- Or at least aggressively free. --- Because apparently he spent most of his life: - eating noodles - arguing on forums - collecting eyewitness reports - ranking mercenaries --- The fake Trio immediately nodded. --- "That tracks." --- Ace sat back down. --- Slowly. --- Carefully. --- Like somebody discovering a new category of disappointment. --- Shammy looked at the map. --- Then at Kiro. --- "How old is he?" --- Kiro checked. --- Then blinked. --- Then checked again. --- Then burst out laughing. --- "Oh no." --- "What?" Rogue asked. --- Kiro zoomed in. --- The founder's profile appeared. --- Age: --- **Nineteen.** --- The room died. --- Completely. --- Nineteen. --- The mastermind. The founder. The creator of the Merc Threat Index. The architect of three hundred and eighty-seven pages of nonsense. --- Was nineteen years old. --- Ace looked at the ceiling. --- Then at Rogue. --- Then at the universe. --- "I want a refund." --- Rogue nodded. --- "Fair." --- Then Kiro noticed something. --- A tiny detail. --- The kind of detail that changed everything. --- Her grin vanished. --- Immediately. --- "Wait." --- Nobody liked that tone. --- Not even a little. --- "What?" Mai asked. --- Kiro zoomed in on another thread. --- A recent one. Very recent. --- Hours old. --- The title read: --- **THE TRIAD IS LOOKING FOR ME** --- Silence. --- Complete silence. --- The thread had thousands of replies. --- Thousands. --- And the founder's latest post sat at the very top. --- Pinned. --- Highlighted. --- Impossible to miss. --- It read: --- > If this post suddenly stops updating, > > assume I was correct. --- The room became very quiet. --- Then: --- > Also, if Ace is reading this: > > your swords are cool. --- Ace paused. --- A beat passed. --- Then another. --- Finally: --- "...okay, that's actually a good opening move." --- And for the first time since discovering the forum... the hunt for the founder became personal. 😄 --- # Chapter 10 — The Stakeout The founder's username was **DefinitelyNotAce**. His age was nineteen. His primary hobbies appeared to be: - noodles - bad decisions - internet arguments - more internet arguments - documenting internet arguments --- Nobody respected him. --- Unfortunately, everybody wanted to meet him. --- The stakeout began at eleven in the morning. --- Which already annoyed Ace. --- "Criminals should operate at night." --- Mai looked up from her datapad. --- "He's not a criminal." --- "He runs a forum." --- "That's not a crime." --- Ace thought about it. --- Longer than was healthy. --- "...debatable." --- Shammy was already smiling. --- The noodle shop sat across the street. --- Small. Crowded. Popular. --- Exactly the sort of place nobody noticed. --- Which made it perfect. --- The founder apparently visited three times a week. --- Always the same table. Always the same order. Always the same schedule. --- "He has routines." Mai observed. --- "He has noodles." Ace corrected. --- "Same thing." --- Across the table, Rogue looked deeply disappointed in all of them. --- The fake Trio sat nearby. --- Officially because they had useful context. --- Unofficially because this was too funny to miss. --- Rina pointed across the street. --- "That's him." --- Everyone looked. --- The founder had arrived. --- And immediately proved why he was nineteen. --- Because he was wearing a shirt. --- The shirt read: --- **THE TRIAD ISN'T REAL** --- The silence inside the surveillance van was absolute. --- Then Ace slowly lowered her binoculars. --- "No." --- Rogue nodded. --- "Unfortunately yes." --- The founder entered the noodle shop. --- Nobody followed immediately. --- Because everyone needed a moment. --- Several moments. --- Potentially professional counseling. --- Kiro's voice crackled over comms. --- "Oh my god." --- "Don't." Ace replied. --- "He has merch." --- The van froze. --- "What." --- "He has merchandise." --- Kiro sounded like she was moments from death. --- "There's a store." --- "No." --- "There is." --- "No." --- "There really is." --- Kiro opened a link. --- The display filled with products. --- The fake Trio immediately started laughing. --- Rogue stopped moving. --- Completely. --- Because the store sold: --- **TRIAD THREAT INDEX MUGS** --- **TEAM MAI T-SHIRTS** --- **I SURVIVED ACE (PROBABLY) STICKERS** --- **SHAMMY DISAPPOINTMENT CHART POSTERS** --- The van died. --- Nobody survived. --- Not emotionally. --- Mai stared at the screen. --- Then zoomed in. --- Then stared harder. --- "...he monetized it." --- The horror in her voice was genuine. --- Pure. --- Untainted. --- Rogue looked ready to commit tax fraud. --- The fake Trio had abandoned all dignity. --- Gone. --- Finished. --- Tess was crying. --- Actually crying. --- Because one of the shirts read: --- **STATISTICALLY SPEAKING, MAI WAS RIGHT** --- The shirt was sold out. --- Sold. Out. --- Mai looked personally attacked. --- Ace looked impressed. --- "Okay." --- "No." Mai replied immediately. --- "Okay." --- "No." --- "That's kind of funny." --- "It absolutely is not." --- "It sold out." --- "ACE." --- Before the argument could continue, Kiro interrupted. --- "Wait." --- Nobody liked that word anymore. --- Not from Kiro. --- Never from Kiro. --- "What now?" Rogue asked. --- Kiro zoomed in on another window. --- Then another. --- Then another. --- The grin slowly vanished from her face. --- The van immediately quieted. --- Because Kiro only stopped smiling when something genuinely weird appeared. --- "That's..." --- A pause. --- "That's not possible." --- Everyone looked at the screen. --- The founder's forum dashboard remained open. --- Several windows. Several tabs. Several ongoing arguments. --- All normal. --- Except one. --- One account. --- One moderator account. --- The original moderator. --- The account that had actually started the website. --- The founder wasn't the creator. --- The room froze. --- Completely. --- "What." Ace said. --- Kiro zoomed in. --- The original founder account had not posted in years. --- Almost a decade. --- Inactive. Silent. Gone. --- Yet the account still logged in. --- Every week. --- Regularly. --- Quietly. --- Without posting. --- Without commenting. --- Without interacting. --- Just... watching. --- The username sat at the top of the page. --- Simple. Unremarkable. --- Old enough that nobody had paid attention to it. --- Until now. --- Rogue leaned forward. --- Mai leaned forward. --- Shammy leaned forward. --- Even the fake Trio leaned forward. --- The account name read: --- **AfterlifeAdmin** --- Silence. --- Complete. Utter. Catastrophic silence. --- Then Rogue slowly looked up. --- Very slowly. --- Dangerously slowly. --- "Excuse me." --- Nobody spoke. --- Because everybody had just reached exactly the same conclusion. --- And nobody wanted to be the first person to say it out loud. --- Somewhere across the street, a nineteen-year-old conspiracy theorist happily ate noodles. --- Completely unaware that his stupid website had just accidentally pointed the investigation directly back at Afterlife. --- And judging by Rogue's expression... somebody was about to have a very bad day. 😄 --- # Chapter 11 — Rogue's Problem Rogue spent the next thirty seconds staring at the screen. Which, for Rogue, qualified as an emotional outburst. --- Nobody interrupted. --- Nobody moved. --- Nobody was interested in discovering what happened if somebody interrupted Rogue during whatever this was. --- Finally she pointed at the account. --- "That." --- A pause. --- "Is not me." --- Ace nodded. --- "Good." --- Rogue looked at her. --- "Why would that be good?" --- "Because if it was you, this conversation gets much stranger." --- Fair. --- Rogue looked back at the screen. --- The account remained there. --- **AfterlifeAdmin** --- Ten years old. --- Still active. --- Still logging in. --- Still watching. --- Never posting. --- Never commenting. --- Never interacting. --- Just observing. --- The fake Trio had become unusually quiet. --- Mostly because the joke had suddenly evolved into a mystery. --- A very Night City mystery. --- The kind where something started stupid and accidentally became real. --- Kiro zoomed in further. --- "I found the registration date." --- Everyone looked. --- Then looked again. --- Then a third time. --- Because the account was older than the forum. --- Silence. --- Ace blinked. --- "What." --- Kiro nodded. --- "Exactly." --- The account existed before the website existed. --- The room became very still. --- Because that wasn't how websites worked. --- At least not normally. --- The founder apparently created the forum. --- But somehow the account had already been there. --- Waiting. --- Rogue looked deeply unimpressed. --- "Wonderful." --- Nobody disagreed. --- "Can you trace it?" Mai asked. --- Kiro grinned. --- That was reassuring. --- Then she kept grinning. --- That was less reassuring. --- Then she started laughing. --- That was actively concerning. --- "Oh, you're going to love this." --- Nobody had ever loved a sentence that started that way. --- Ever. --- Kiro brought up a map. --- A location appeared. --- Then another. --- Then another. --- Then another. --- The room slowly realized what they were looking at. --- Login locations. --- Lots of them. --- Hundreds. --- Thousands. --- All over Night City. --- The account had logged in from: - Watson - Heywood - Pacifica - Santo Domingo - City Center - Westbrook --- Everywhere. --- Ace frowned. --- "VPN?" --- Kiro shook her head. --- "No." --- "Proxy?" --- "No." --- "Then what?" --- Kiro pointed at the pattern. --- The pattern was the problem. --- Because there wasn't one. --- The account appeared everywhere. --- Like somebody carrying it around. --- Or... --- Like multiple people shared it. --- The silence landed heavily. --- Then Rogue groaned. --- A real groan. --- The kind normally reserved for paperwork. --- "Oh, I know exactly what this is." --- Everyone looked at her. --- Even Kiro. --- Especially Kiro. --- Rogue pointed at the account. --- "That isn't a person." --- A pause. --- "It's a bar account." --- The room froze. --- Then Ace slowly smiled. --- "Oh no." --- Rogue nodded. --- "Oh yes." --- The realization spread. --- Years ago. Long before the forum. Long before the founder. Long before any of this stupidity. --- Somebody in Afterlife had apparently created a shared account. --- A communal account. --- A joke. --- A convenience. --- A thing nobody thought mattered. --- And over the years dozens... perhaps hundreds... of mercs had used it. --- Kiro was already laughing again. --- Because the implications were glorious. --- The founder had spent years believing there was a mysterious hidden observer. --- A secret watcher. --- A shadow administrator. --- A conspiracy. --- An invisible hand guiding events. --- When in reality... --- The account was probably shared by drunk mercs. --- The fake Trio immediately started laughing. --- Ace nearly fell out of her chair. --- Shammy was trying to remain sympathetic. --- Failing. --- Badly. --- Mai pinched the bridge of her nose. --- "Please tell me that's not true." --- Rogue immediately answered. --- "It is absolutely true." --- The room exploded. --- Because it was the most Night City answer imaginable. --- A decade-long conspiracy theory. --- Built around an account. --- That apparently existed because somebody didn't want to create separate login credentials. --- Across the street, the founder continued eating noodles. --- Completely unaware. --- And that was when Kiro made the discovery. --- The real discovery. --- The one hidden beneath the joke. --- The grin vanished. --- Immediately. --- "Wait." --- Everybody groaned. --- Collectively. --- The word had become cursed. --- "What now?" Ace asked. --- Kiro stared at the screen. --- Then at another screen. --- Then at a third. --- The laughter slowly disappeared from her face. --- "That's not possible." --- Nobody liked hearing that from Kiro. --- Because Kiro spent most of her life making impossible things possible. --- "What?" --- Kiro zoomed in. --- A login timestamp. --- Recent. --- Very recent. --- Hours ago. --- The account had logged in. --- From Afterlife. --- Nothing strange there. --- Then another login. --- Same minute. --- Same account. --- Different district. --- Then another. --- And another. --- And another. --- Five simultaneous logins. --- Across five different parts of the city. --- The room became quiet. --- Because even a shared account couldn't do that. --- Not physically. --- Not unless... --- Rogue slowly looked up. --- Then smiled. --- A dangerous smile. --- The kind that usually meant somebody was about to be very embarrassed. --- "Well." --- Nobody liked that tone. --- "Rogue?" --- She pointed toward the noodle shop. --- Toward the founder. --- Toward the nineteen-year-old idiot currently inhaling ramen. --- And for the first time all day looked genuinely entertained. --- "I think our conspiracy theorist accidentally found a real conspiracy." --- Across the street, the founder sneezed. --- Completely unaware that his life had just become significantly more interesting. 😄 --- # Chapter 12 — The Conspiracy Theorist For approximately twelve seconds, nobody moved. Nobody spoke. Nobody blinked with confidence. --- Because the situation had somehow evolved again. --- The original problem: Somebody stole Triad's reputation. --- Then: A forum existed. --- Then: A nineteen-year-old conspiracy theorist existed. --- Then: The conspiracy theorist accidentally found something real. --- Night City remained undefeated. --- Across the street, the founder slurped noodles. --- Completely unaware. --- Ace pointed through the van window. --- "Should we tell him?" --- The entire vehicle immediately answered: --- "No." --- Even Shammy. --- Especially Shammy. --- Because the poor kid looked happy. --- And nobody wanted to watch that disappear. --- Kiro zoomed further into the logs. --- "Okay." --- A pause. --- "Now this is funny." --- Nobody trusted that sentence anymore. --- Not even a little. --- "What?" Rogue asked. --- Kiro opened another window. --- Then another. --- Then another. --- The room became silent. --- Because every login came with metadata. --- Tiny pieces of information. --- Device IDs. Operating systems. Connection signatures. --- Normal things. --- Except they weren't normal. --- The five simultaneous logins came from: --- One merc. --- One fixer. --- One bartender. --- One netrunner. --- And... --- Silence. --- Kiro zoomed in. --- Then looked genuinely delighted. --- "...a vending machine." --- The van exploded. --- Rogue physically lowered her head into one hand. --- Ace started laughing immediately. --- "No." --- "Yes." --- "No." --- "Very yes." --- Kiro turned the display. --- There it was. --- Device classification: --- **AUTOMATED RETAIL UNIT** --- The login source was literally a vending machine. --- Nobody survived. --- Not emotionally. --- Not spiritually. --- Not professionally. --- The fake Trio had collapsed entirely. --- Tess was wheezing. --- Rina had stopped pretending to be functional. --- Jules was trying to explain something through laughter. --- Failing. --- Across the street, the founder looked up briefly. --- Saw six people in a surveillance van. --- Then returned to his noodles. --- Because apparently even that wasn't suspicious anymore. --- Night City had damaged him beyond repair. --- Rogue eventually recovered enough to speak. --- Barely. --- "A vending machine." --- Kiro nodded. --- "A vending machine." --- "A vending machine logged into a conspiracy forum." --- Kiro nodded again. --- "A conspiracy forum." --- Nobody could find a flaw in the statement. --- Which was deeply upsetting. --- Then Mai noticed something. --- And unfortunately... when Mai noticed things, the universe usually suffered. --- "Wait." --- Everyone groaned. --- Collectively. --- Even Kiro. --- "Not you too." --- Mai ignored them. --- The login pattern remained on screen. --- Five logins. --- Five locations. --- Five device types. --- Then a sixth. --- A very old login. --- Buried beneath years of noise. --- Mai zoomed in. --- Silence. --- Then more silence. --- Then: --- "Oh." --- Nobody liked that. --- "What?" Ace asked. --- Mai pointed. --- The oldest recurring login wasn't from Afterlife. --- Wasn't from a merc. --- Wasn't from a netrunner. --- Wasn't from anything that made sense. --- The source label simply read: --- **PUBLIC TERMINAL 04** --- No district. No owner. No corporation. No location. --- Nothing. --- Just: --- Public Terminal 04. --- The silence became serious. --- For the first time in hours. --- Because unlike the vending machine... this wasn't funny. --- Kiro frowned. --- "I can't locate it." --- That got attention immediately. --- Because Kiro could locate almost anything. --- Not instantly. --- But eventually. --- This? --- Nothing. --- No coordinates. No ownership records. No maintenance logs. No registration history. --- The terminal existed. --- But apparently nowhere. --- Ace slowly leaned forward. --- "That's weird." --- "Correct." Mai replied. --- Rogue looked thoughtful. --- Dangerously thoughtful. --- The kind of thoughtful that meant a fixer's instincts had finally activated. --- Not amused. --- Interested. --- Big difference. --- Across the street, the founder finished his noodles. --- Paid. --- Grabbed his backpack. --- Started walking. --- Nobody paid attention. --- Not immediately. --- Because everyone was staring at the mysterious terminal. --- Then Kiro noticed. --- "Oh no." --- The van froze. --- Again. --- "What now?" --- Kiro pointed at the external camera feed. --- The founder was walking. --- Directly toward them. --- Silence. --- Nobody moved. --- The founder crossed the street. --- Still walking. --- Still carrying noodles. --- Still wearing the stupid shirt. --- **THE TRIAD ISN'T REAL** --- He reached the van. --- Stopped. --- Looked directly at the windshield. --- Then raised one hand. --- And knocked. --- Three times. --- Nobody spoke. --- The founder waited. --- Then leaned slightly closer. --- And shouted: --- "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE." --- The fake Trio immediately panicked. --- The real Triad immediately panicked differently. --- And Rogue... --- Rogue slowly closed her eyes. --- Because somehow... --- Somehow... --- The nineteen-year-old conspiracy theorist had found them first. 😄 --- # Chapter 13 — The Founder Finds The Triad The knock echoed through the van. Three times. Calm. Confident. Completely unreasonable. --- Nobody moved. --- The founder knocked again. --- "Guys." --- Silence. --- "Come on." --- More silence. --- "I can literally see six silhouettes." --- The fake Trio immediately sank lower in their seats. --- Ace stared straight ahead. --- Mai stared at a datapad that was no longer on. --- Shammy attempted diplomacy. --- "Maybe he'll leave." --- The founder immediately answered through the glass. --- "I heard that." --- Shammy looked betrayed. --- "How?" --- The founder knocked again. --- "The window is open." --- Everybody looked. --- The window was, in fact, slightly open. --- The van collectively lost credibility. --- Rogue sighed. --- The sigh of a woman who had once negotiated with cyberpsychos and was now being outplayed by a noodle enthusiast. --- "Open the door." --- Ace looked horrified. --- "Why?" --- "Because if we don't, he's going to keep knocking." --- The founder immediately nodded. --- "That's true." --- Nobody had invited him into the conversation. --- That apparently wasn't slowing him down. --- The van door slid open. --- The founder beamed. --- "Oh good." --- He climbed inside before anyone could object. --- Which somehow felt perfectly consistent with everything they knew about him. --- Nineteen. --- Absolutely no survival instincts. --- He sat down. --- Looked around. --- Then froze. --- Actually froze. --- Because now he wasn't looking through a windshield. --- Now he was sitting inside a van with: - Rogue - Ace - Mai - Shammy - Three fake Triad members --- Reality finally caught up. --- The founder blinked. --- Once. --- Twice. --- Then pointed. --- Slowly. --- At Ace. --- "No way." --- Ace folded her arms. --- "Hello." --- The founder pointed at Mai. --- "No way." --- Mai looked unimpressed. --- "Hello." --- The founder pointed at Shammy. --- Then immediately looked guilty. --- "Uh." --- Shammy smiled politely. --- The founder looked like he'd accidentally insulted a national monument. --- "Oh no." --- Rogue pinched the bridge of her nose. --- "We're doing this now." --- The founder looked around the van. --- Then at the fake Trio. --- Then back at the real Triad. --- Then suddenly gasped. --- The loudest gasp anyone had heard all week. --- "You!" --- He pointed at Rina. --- Rina blinked. --- "What?" --- "YOU'RE THE REASON THE FORUM IS BROKEN." --- The fake Trio looked deeply offended. --- "What does that mean?" --- The founder immediately pulled out a datapad. --- Which was apparently always loaded and ready. --- A professional. --- A terrible professional. --- But a professional. --- He brought up a thread. --- A gigantic thread. --- The title read: --- **TRIAD EXPANSION THEORY** --- The fake Trio collectively groaned. --- The founder pointed accusingly. --- "You three ruined six years of statistical analysis." --- The van became silent. --- Even Rogue paused. --- Because that sentence was insane. --- And yet somehow sincere. --- Jules looked offended. --- "Six years?" --- "Six years." --- "You tracked statistics?" --- "Obviously." --- "WHY?" --- The founder looked genuinely confused. --- "As a hobby." --- Nobody had a response to that. --- Not one. --- Then Mai made the mistake. --- A fatal mistake. --- She asked a question. --- "What statistics?" --- The founder's eyes lit up. --- Immediately. --- Dangerously. --- The way Kiro's eyes lit up when someone accidentally mentioned network architecture. --- Or the way Rogue's lit up when someone mentioned overdue payments. --- "Oh." --- "No." Ace said instantly. --- "Oh yes." --- The founder reached into his backpack. --- And produced a binder. --- An actual binder. --- Physical. --- Paper. --- Tabbed. --- Color coded. --- The van became completely silent. --- Because everybody understood exactly what they were looking at. --- Not a joke. --- Not a meme. --- Not a forum post. --- Research. --- Years of it. --- The founder proudly opened the first page. --- The title read: --- **Observed Triad Operational Patterns: Revised Edition** --- Ace immediately stood up. --- "Nope." --- The founder ignored her. --- Page one. --- Charts. --- Page two. --- Graphs. --- Page three. --- Flow diagrams. --- Page four. --- A section labeled: --- **Probability Of Ace Appearing In Vents** --- The van exploded. --- Rogue actually laughed. --- A real laugh. --- The kind nobody had heard in months. --- Ace looked horrified. --- "What." --- The founder pointed at the chart. --- "It's higher than you'd think." --- "It should be zero!" --- "It absolutely is not." --- The fake Trio immediately nodded. --- "He's right." --- Ace stared at them. --- "You people are making my life harder." --- "Statistically speaking." the founder replied. --- "You're making it harder yourself." --- And for the first time all week... even Rogue wasn't trying to solve the problem anymore. --- Because watching Ace discover she'd been academically studied by a nineteen-year-old conspiracy theorist was far too entertaining to interrupt. 😄 --- # Chapter 14 — Peer Review Ace was being academically studied. That sentence alone should never have existed. Yet here they were. --- Inside a surveillance van. --- While a nineteen-year-old conspiracy theorist flipped through a binder. --- A binder. --- Rogue was still laughing occasionally. --- Which was making everything worse. --- The founder pointed at another page. --- "Okay." --- "No." Ace replied immediately. --- "Okay." --- "No." --- "Page thirty-seven." --- Ace looked toward the ceiling. --- Appealing to higher powers. --- The higher powers refused to get involved. --- The founder proudly displayed the page. --- The title read: --- **Vent Theory** --- The fake Trio immediately started laughing again. --- Rina looked like she'd been waiting years for this. --- "Oh my god, you're actually doing Vent Theory." --- The founder looked offended. --- "It's one of the foundational papers." --- The van died. --- Completely. --- Mai slowly looked up. --- "...foundational papers?" --- "Yes." --- "Papers." --- "Yes." --- "Plural." --- "Obviously." --- Nobody liked the confidence. --- Nobody liked it at all. --- The founder flipped another page. --- Another. --- Another. --- The table of contents appeared. --- And immediately revealed the terrible truth. --- There wasn't one paper. --- There were many. --- Far too many. --- Titles included: --- **Vent Theory** --- **Sword Probability Distribution** --- **The Shammy Radius** --- **Statistical Analysis Of Mercenary Regret** --- **The Mai Correction Factor** --- The room froze. --- Mai pointed. --- Slowly. --- Carefully. --- Like somebody handling explosives. --- "The what." --- The founder immediately brightened. --- "Oh, that's one of my favorites." --- That sentence physically injured several people. --- The founder flipped to the page. --- The graph appeared. --- A proper graph. --- Axes. Labels. Annotations. --- Everything. --- The title: --- **THE MAI CORRECTION FACTOR** --- Mai stared. --- Then stared harder. --- Then somehow managed to stare mathematically. --- The founder pointed at the chart. --- "Whenever somebody explains a situation..." --- A pause. --- "And then Mai arrives..." --- Another pause. --- "The amount of available bullshit decreases dramatically." --- The fake Trio immediately lost composure. --- Tess slid off her seat. --- Jules was crying. --- Rina had stopped making actual sounds. --- Mai looked deeply offended. --- "...that's not science." --- The founder pointed at the citations. --- "There are sources." --- The van exploded. --- Again. --- Even Kiro had joined the call just in time to hear that. --- "Oh no." --- "Oh yes." the founder replied proudly. --- Kiro immediately zoomed in. --- Then made the mistake. --- The fatal mistake. --- She started reading. --- "Oh my god." --- "What now?" Shammy asked. --- Kiro pointed at the footnotes. --- The footnotes were worse. --- Much worse. --- Because every source was a real Night City incident. --- Some were anonymous. --- Some referenced fixer reports. --- Some referenced forum discussions. --- One referenced a food vendor. --- Another referenced a bartender. --- And one horrifying citation simply read: --- **"I was there."** --- Ace buried her face in her hands. --- "He peer-reviewed us." --- The founder immediately corrected her. --- "Technically." --- A pause. --- "Night City peer-reviewed you." --- The silence was devastating. --- Because somehow... --- That was even worse. --- Then Rogue noticed something. --- A detail. --- A tiny detail. --- The sort that fixers noticed. --- The founder's binder wasn't cheap. --- Not remotely. --- High-quality printing. --- Professional binding. --- Tabbed indexing. --- Color coding. --- Custom covers. --- Rogue narrowed her eyes. --- "Kid." --- The founder froze. --- Immediately. --- Because Rogue had used the fixer voice. --- Everybody knew that voice. --- Everybody feared that voice. --- "Yeah?" --- "How much money have you made from this?" --- The van became silent. --- The founder suddenly looked interested in the floor. --- A very suspicious amount of interest. --- "Kid." --- "...some." --- "Kid." --- "...an amount." --- "Kid." --- The founder sighed. --- Defeated. --- Utterly defeated. --- Then quietly answered: --- "More than my actual job." --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- Ace nearly choked. --- Shammy physically turned away. --- Kiro vanished from the screen because she was laughing too hard. --- The fake Trio had become non-functional. --- Even Mai needed a moment. --- Rogue simply stared. --- For several seconds. --- Then leaned back. --- Lit another cigarette. --- And delivered the most Rogue observation possible. --- "So." --- A long drag. --- A slow exhale. --- Then: --- "You stole my mercs." --- The founder looked horrified. --- "What?" --- Rogue pointed at the fake Trio. --- Then the real Triad. --- Then the binder. --- Then the merchandise. --- Then the forum. --- Then the entire absurd chain of events. --- "You accidentally created a secondary economy based entirely on these idiots." --- The founder opened his mouth. --- Closed it. --- Opened it again. --- Then looked around the van. --- At the fake Trio. At the real Triad. At Rogue. At the evidence. --- A realization slowly dawned. --- "Oh." --- Nobody liked that. --- Not even a little. --- Because that was the sound of somebody finally understanding the scale of the disaster they had created. --- And judging by the grin slowly spreading across Rogue's face... --- The bill was about to come due. 😄 --- # Chapter 15 — Rogue Sends An Invoice The founder had just realized he might have accidentally built an economy. This was unfortunate. --- Mostly because Rogue had also realized it. --- And Rogue was significantly faster. --- The founder sat very still. --- The way small animals sat very still after noticing a predator. --- "Now." Rogue said calmly. --- Nobody trusted calm Rogue. --- Not even Rogue. --- "You have a forum." --- The founder nodded. --- "You have merchandise." --- Another nod. --- "You have advertising." --- A smaller nod. --- "You have premium memberships." --- The founder froze. --- The entire van froze with him. --- Rogue's eyes narrowed. --- "Premium memberships." --- It wasn't a question. --- It was an accusation. --- The founder looked toward the window. --- The window offered no legal counsel. --- "...yes." --- The fake Trio immediately began laughing again. --- Because somehow things were still getting worse. --- "There's a premium tier?" Ace asked. --- The founder looked embarrassed. --- "A few." --- "A few." --- "Several." --- "Several." --- "Five." --- The van died. --- Completely. --- Even Rogue needed a second. --- "Five." --- The founder nodded. --- "People kept asking for features." --- "Features." --- The founder brightened slightly. --- "Oh." --- "Oh no." Mai said immediately. --- "Oh yes." --- The founder reached for the binder. --- Everybody groaned. --- Collectively. --- The binder opened. --- A page appeared. --- **SUPPORTER BENEFITS** --- Ace immediately regretted learning to read. --- The tiers included: --- **Street Rumor** --- **Reliable Witness** --- **Verified Survivor** --- **Field Researcher** --- And finally: --- **Mai Was Right** --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- Shammy physically slid off her seat. --- The fake Trio had become decorative. --- Kiro disappeared from the call again. --- Even Rogue looked wounded. --- "Mai Was Right." --- The founder nodded proudly. --- "It's the most expensive one." --- Mai stared into the void. --- The void stared back. --- Then quietly: --- "How many subscribers?" --- The founder checked. --- Then immediately regretted checking. --- "...four thousand." --- The van achieved enlightenment. --- Nobody remained tethered to reality. --- Four thousand. --- Four thousand people. --- Were paying money. --- For a premium conspiracy theory forum. --- About the Triad. --- Ace looked at Rogue. --- Rogue looked at Ace. --- Then both looked at the founder. --- The founder looked increasingly aware of his mortality. --- Then Rogue did something unexpected. --- She smiled. --- The founder immediately became terrified. --- Because everyone else in the van reacted. --- Ace stopped laughing. --- Mai stopped reading. --- Shammy sat upright. --- The fake Trio looked frightened. --- Kiro literally reconnected just to ask: --- "Wait." --- Nobody answered. --- Because everyone knew. --- The smile. --- The fixer smile. --- The business smile. --- The smile that meant Rogue had found an opportunity. --- "Kid." --- The founder swallowed. --- "Yeah?" --- Rogue pointed at the forum. --- "How many active users?" --- "...forty-eight thousand." --- "Monthly?" --- "...yes." --- Rogue nodded. --- Interesting. --- Very interesting. --- The founder looked like a man who had accidentally wandered into a corporate acquisition meeting. --- Which, unfortunately, was exactly what had happened. --- Then Rogue leaned forward. --- The smile widened. --- "Oh, you're paying me." --- Silence. --- The founder blinked. --- "What?" --- "You used my mercs." --- A finger. --- "My Afterlife." --- Another finger. --- "My clients." --- Another. --- "My reputation." --- Another. --- "My city." --- A final finger. --- "And somehow made money." --- The founder looked horrified. --- The fake Trio looked delighted. --- The real Triad looked fascinated. --- Because for the first time all story... the kid had finally met something he genuinely hadn't planned for. --- A fixer. --- A real fixer. --- Operating at full power. --- Then the founder made the mistake. --- The catastrophic mistake. --- The mistake future historians would study. --- He asked: --- "How much?" --- The entire van gasped. --- Collectively. --- Because everyone knew what he'd just done. --- He had opened negotiations. --- With Rogue. --- Voluntarily. --- Rogue's smile became radiant. --- Absolutely radiant. --- And Ace immediately leaned toward Shammy. --- "He's dead." --- "He's dead." Shammy agreed. --- "Completely dead." --- The fake Trio nodded. --- "Extremely dead." --- Meanwhile the founder sat there. --- Nineteen years old. Armed with noodles. A binder. And terrible judgment. --- Completely unaware that he had just triggered the most dangerous encounter of the entire investigation. --- Contract negotiations with Rogue. 😄 --- # Chapter 16 — Contract Negotiations The founder had asked Rogue a question. A very small question. A very innocent question. A very catastrophically stupid question. --- How much? --- The silence inside the van lasted several seconds. --- Then Rogue reached into her jacket. --- The founder visibly flinched. --- Ace immediately nodded. --- "Reasonable reaction." --- Rogue pulled out a datapad. --- The founder relaxed. --- Then immediately became nervous again. --- Because somehow the datapad was worse. --- Much worse. --- Rogue opened a blank document. --- The title appeared. --- **INVOICE** --- The founder's soul left his body. --- "Wait." --- "No." Rogue replied. --- "I haven't agreed to anything." --- "You made money." --- "That's not a crime." --- Rogue looked at him. --- The founder looked back. --- Then immediately looked away. --- Because that expression was impossible to challenge. --- "You made money." Rogue repeated. --- A pause. --- "Using my ecosystem." --- The founder pointed helplessly at the binder. --- "It was a hobby." --- The fake Trio exploded. --- Because absolutely nobody believed that anymore. --- Not after premium memberships. --- Not after merchandise. --- Not after forty-eight thousand users. --- Not after the sold-out _Statistically Speaking, Mai Was Right_ shirts. --- The founder pointed at the screen. --- "It started as a hobby." --- Mai immediately nodded. --- "That's actually believable." --- Everyone looked at her. --- "What?" --- Mai shrugged. --- "Most disasters do." --- Fair. --- The founder looked grateful. --- Very briefly. --- Then Mai continued. --- "Then people encouraged you." --- The gratitude vanished. --- Instantly. --- "Also fair." --- Rogue started typing. --- The founder watched. --- Horrified. --- "What are you doing?" --- "Calculating." --- Nobody liked that answer. --- Not even Rogue. --- The fake Trio leaned forward. --- Kiro leaned closer to the camera. --- Ace actually looked excited. --- Because this was becoming sport. --- Finally the founder gathered enough courage. --- "Calculating what?" --- Rogue didn't even look up. --- "Damages." --- The founder nearly stopped existing. --- "DAMAGES?" --- Rogue pointed toward the fake Trio. --- "Impersonation." --- Toward the forum. --- "Reputation exploitation." --- Toward the merchandise. --- "Unauthorized merchandising." --- Toward the subscription model. --- "Commercialization." --- Toward the Afterlife account. --- "And whatever the hell that was." --- The founder looked like he was having an out-of-body experience. --- Then Ace noticed something. --- A tiny detail. --- A very important detail. --- The kid wasn't panicking because he was guilty. --- He was panicking because he was doing math. --- Mental math. --- Fast mental math. --- The realization hit at the same time it hit Mai. --- Both of them noticed. --- The founder was calculating how much money he had. --- And whether he could survive the invoice. --- Mai immediately pointed. --- "He's budgeting." --- The founder froze. --- Everyone looked at him. --- The founder looked at everyone. --- "...maybe." --- The van exploded. --- Again. --- Rogue actually stopped typing. --- "Kid." --- The founder swallowed. --- "Yeah?" --- "Did you genuinely think there was a possibility you were going to pay this?" --- The founder blinked. --- Then blinked again. --- Then: --- "...no?" --- Rogue nodded. --- "Good." --- The founder visibly relaxed. --- For exactly one second. --- Then Rogue finished the sentence. --- "Because you can't afford it." --- The relaxation vanished. --- Immediately. --- The fake Trio collapsed. --- Ace physically hit the wall laughing. --- Shammy was crying. --- Even Mai lost composure. --- Across the screen Kiro had become completely useless. --- The founder looked like somebody had unplugged his brain. --- Then Rogue turned the datapad around. --- The invoice was visible. --- The total amount occupied most of the page. --- The founder stared. --- Then stared harder. --- Then slowly pointed. --- "That's not a number." --- "It is." --- "No." --- "It absolutely is." --- "No." --- The founder pointed again. --- "There are commas." --- "Yes." --- "There are too many commas." --- "Subjective." --- The fake Trio had abandoned all hope. --- Then the founder noticed something else. --- A line item. --- A very specific line item. --- He zoomed in. --- Read it. --- Read it again. --- Then looked up. --- Slowly. --- "What is..." --- A pause. --- "...'Emotional Distress To Afterlife Staff'?" --- The entire van went silent. --- Because Rogue immediately pointed at him. --- "Forum poll." --- The founder froze. --- "Which one?" --- Rogue opened another screen. --- The title appeared. --- **WHICH AFTERLIFE EMPLOYEE COULD DEFEAT A CYBERPSYCHO WITH A CHAIR?** --- The founder immediately looked at the floor. --- The floor offered no defense. --- "Ah." --- "Ah." Rogue agreed. --- The fake Trio were no longer capable of speech. --- And Ace suddenly realized something horrifying. --- The kid hadn't just built a forum. --- He'd spent years quietly cataloging every absurd rumor, argument, theory and legend in Night City. --- Which meant... --- He was sitting on the largest collection of mercenary nonsense anyone had ever assembled. --- Mai realized it at the exact same moment. --- So did Rogue. --- The founder saw all three expressions change. --- And immediately looked nervous. --- Because that was never a good sign. --- Especially when Rogue smiled again. --- The business smile. --- The really dangerous one. --- Then Rogue closed the invoice. --- The founder blinked. --- "What?" --- Rogue leaned back. --- Took a slow drag from her cigarette. --- And delivered the sentence that changed everything. --- "Kid." --- The founder looked terrified. --- "Yeah?" --- Rogue nodded toward the binder. Toward the forum. Toward the subscriber count. Toward forty-eight thousand idiots. --- Then calmly said: --- "You're not paying me." --- The founder visibly rebooted. --- "What?" --- Rogue smiled. --- "You're working for me." --- The entire van detonated so hard that even the founder forgot to panic. 😄 --- # Chapter 17 — Rogue Acquires An Employee The founder stared. Rogue stared. The universe waited. --- "You're working for me." --- The sentence hung in the air. --- The founder blinked. --- Once. --- Twice. --- Three times. --- Then: --- "...what." --- Rogue looked annoyed. --- Not because of the question. --- Because she'd apparently have to explain it. --- "I have a forum." --- The founder nodded. --- "You have a forum." --- Another nod. --- "I have mercs." --- A third nod. --- "You have forty-eight thousand idiots." --- The founder looked offended. --- "They're not all idiots." --- Rogue immediately pointed. --- "You sell conspiracy-theory mugs." --- "...fair." --- The fake Trio exploded. --- Again. --- At this point they had accepted that laughter was simply their natural state. --- Rogue continued. --- "You collect rumors." --- A finger. --- "You collect sightings." --- Another finger. --- "You collect eyewitness reports." --- Another. --- "You collect arguments." --- Another. --- "You collect trends." --- Another. --- "You collect merc gossip." --- Another. --- "You collect fixer gossip." --- Another. --- "You collect gang gossip." --- Another. --- "You collect corporate gossip." --- Another. --- "You accidentally built a city-wide intelligence network." --- The van froze. --- Because suddenly... --- That sounded much less stupid. --- The founder slowly sat up. --- "Oh." --- Rogue nodded. --- "Oh." --- Ace immediately pointed. --- "Absolutely not." --- Everyone looked at her. --- "Why?" Shammy asked. --- Ace pointed at the founder. --- "Look at him." --- The founder looked around. --- "What about me?" --- "You're nineteen." --- "That feels unrelated." --- "It is not." --- The fake Trio immediately agreed. --- Enthusiastically. --- "She's right." --- "Very right." --- "Extremely right." --- The founder looked betrayed. --- "You people know me." --- "Exactly." --- Fair. --- Rogue lit another cigarette. --- The cigarette had been extinguished at some point during the invoice. --- Nobody knew when. --- "Kid." --- The founder straightened. --- "Yeah?" --- "What do your users report most?" --- The founder answered instantly. --- No hesitation. No thinking. --- "People." --- The van went quiet. --- Rogue noticed. --- So did Mai. --- The answer had come too fast. --- Which meant it was real. --- The founder shrugged. --- "It's always people." --- A pause. --- "Not events." --- Another. --- "Not places." --- Another. --- "People." --- The founder leaned forward. --- Now he sounded less like a conspiracy theorist. --- And more like somebody who'd spent years watching a city. --- "A merc starts showing up in weird places." --- A finger. --- "A fixer changes routines." --- Another. --- "A gang lieutenant stops using his normal route." --- Another. --- "A corpo executive suddenly has three bodyguards instead of two." --- Another. --- "People notice." --- The van became very quiet. --- Because that was exactly how Night City worked. --- Nobody saw the whole picture. --- Everybody saw a piece. --- The founder had simply built a place where the pieces accumulated. --- Rogue nodded slowly. --- "There it is." --- The founder blinked. --- "What?" --- "The useful part." --- The founder looked vaguely offended. --- "There are lots of useful parts." --- "No." Rogue replied. --- "There really aren't." --- The fake Trio immediately nodded. --- Again. --- The founder looked even more betrayed. --- Then Kiro suddenly spoke. --- "Oh no." --- The van collectively groaned. --- Not again. --- Anything but that. --- "What now?" Mai asked. --- Kiro looked at the forum logs. --- Then at the subscriber counts. --- Then at the founder. --- Then at Rogue. --- Then started laughing. --- The dangerous kind. --- The netrunner kind. --- The kind that meant somebody had missed something obvious. --- "KID." --- The founder jumped. --- "What?" --- "How many fixers use your forum?" --- The founder opened his mouth. --- Stopped. --- Thought. --- Then looked increasingly uncomfortable. --- "Oh." --- Nobody liked that. --- Not one bit. --- "What oh?" Rogue asked. --- The founder checked the subscriber list. --- Then checked it again. --- Then a third time. --- The fake Trio slowly started smiling. --- Because they could see exactly where this was going. --- The founder swallowed. --- "...more than I thought." --- "How many?" --- The founder looked at the screen. --- Then quietly answered: --- "...twenty-seven." --- The van exploded. --- Twenty-seven. --- Twenty-seven fixers. --- Paying subscribers. --- To a conspiracy theory website. --- About mercs. --- Rogue physically stopped moving. --- That was rare. --- Very rare. --- Then: --- "Twenty-seven." --- The founder nodded. --- "Some are probably fake accounts." --- "How many?" --- "...twenty-six." --- The van died. --- Completely. --- Even Mai had no response. --- Ace stared into space. --- Shammy looked delighted. --- The fake Trio looked vindicated. --- And Rogue... --- Rogue slowly smiled. --- A smile so dangerous that even the founder finally recognized it. --- Because suddenly he understood. --- Not the invoice. Not the forum. Not the conspiracy. --- The opportunity. --- The horrifying opportunity. --- Then Rogue leaned back and delivered the sentence that would haunt him forever. --- "Congratulations, kid." --- The founder looked nervous. --- "Why?" --- Rogue tapped the subscriber count. --- Then the fixer list. --- Then the forum statistics. --- Then the binder. --- Then the merchandise store. --- Then finally pointed directly at him. --- And said: --- "You accidentally became a fixer." --- The silence that followed was so complete that even Ace couldn't save him. 😄 --- # Chapter 18 — The Fixer Problem The founder stared at Rogue. Rogue stared at the founder. The rest of the van watched a human being experience a software update in real time. --- "You accidentally became a fixer." --- The founder blinked. --- "No." --- Rogue nodded. --- "Yes." --- "No." --- "Yes." --- "No." --- The fake Trio immediately joined Rogue. --- "Yes." --- The founder pointed accusingly. --- "You don't get a vote." --- "We absolutely get a vote." Rina replied. --- "We've watched this happen." --- "FORUMS ARE NOT FIXING." --- Rogue pointed at the subscriber list. --- "Twenty-six fixers." --- The founder winced. --- "Twenty-seven." --- Rogue smiled. --- "See?" --- The founder looked horrified. --- "That's not helping." --- The real problem was that everyone else had started thinking about it. --- Which was dangerous. --- Because the more they thought about it... --- The worse it became. --- Mai was first. Naturally. --- "How many jobs started because of forum information?" --- The founder froze. --- The van became silent. --- Very silent. --- "Oh." Shammy said. --- "Oh no." Ace corrected. --- The founder looked toward the ceiling. --- The ceiling immediately abandoned him. --- "Kid." Rogue said. --- The founder sighed. --- "...some." --- Rogue smiled. --- "Kid." --- "...many." --- "Kid." --- The founder finally gave up. --- "A lot." --- The van exploded. --- Again. --- Because suddenly the implications became horrifying. --- Not only were people discussing Night City. --- They were acting on the information. --- The founder hurried to defend himself. --- "Not directly." --- Nobody believed that. --- "Not intentionally." --- Nobody believed that either. --- "I mostly just organize information." --- Mai immediately pointed. --- "That is literally what fixers do." --- The founder physically recoiled. --- As though she'd thrown something. --- "Stop saying that." --- "Why?" --- "Because I don't like where it's going." --- Unfortunately everyone liked where it was going. --- Especially Rogue. --- The founder noticed. --- "Oh god." --- Rogue smiled. --- "Oh yes." --- Then the van door opened. --- Everyone looked. --- A man climbed inside. --- Nobody had invited him. --- Nobody recognized him. --- He sat down. --- Closed the door. --- Looked around. --- Then pointed at the founder. --- "There you are." --- Silence. --- Complete silence. --- The founder blinked. --- "...what." --- The newcomer looked annoyed. --- "You never answered my messages." --- The founder stared. --- The newcomer stared back. --- Nobody understood anything. --- Finally Rogue spoke. --- "Who are you?" --- The newcomer looked surprised. --- Then looked at Rogue. --- Then froze. --- Because now he recognized the booth-level threat sitting three feet away. --- "Oh." --- A pause. --- "Oh no." --- Fair. --- "Name." Rogue said. --- The newcomer swallowed. --- "Jerry." --- The van waited. --- Jerry pointed at the founder. --- "He owes me fifty eurodollars." --- The room died. --- Completely. --- The founder looked outraged. --- "I do not." --- "You absolutely do." --- "I absolutely do not." --- Jerry pulled out a datapad. --- The van instantly leaned forward. --- Because datapads were evidence. --- And evidence was funny. --- Jerry displayed a screenshot. --- The screenshot showed a forum poll. --- The title read: --- **How Long Until Rogue Discovers The Website?** --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- The founder immediately covered his face. --- Jerry pointed triumphantly. --- "You said six months." --- Another point. --- "I said three weeks." --- Another point. --- "It's been nineteen days." --- The entire van became non-functional. --- Even Rogue laughed. --- Actually laughed. --- The founder looked like he wanted the earth to open beneath him. --- Unfortunately it didn't. --- Jerry pointed again. --- "You owe me fifty." --- The founder stared at the screenshot. --- Then at Jerry. --- Then at the screenshot. --- Then slowly reached into his pocket. --- And handed over fifty eurodollars. --- Without argument. --- Without negotiation. --- Without dignity. --- Jerry accepted the money. --- Nodded. --- Then immediately climbed out of the van. --- The door closed. --- He was gone. --- Just like that. --- Nobody spoke for several seconds. --- Then Ace looked at the founder. --- "Your users gamble on your life." --- The founder stared straight ahead. --- "...yes." --- Shammy looked fascinated. --- "How often?" --- The founder answered immediately. --- "More than you'd think." --- The fake Trio lost composure again. --- Rogue lit another cigarette. --- Then another realization hit her. --- A slow one. --- A dangerous one. --- She looked at the founder. --- The founder noticed. --- Which was unfortunate. --- Because he now recognized that expression. --- "Why are you looking at me like that?" --- Rogue pointed at the poll. --- Then at the subscriber count. --- Then at the betting pool. --- Then at the merchandise. --- Then at the forum. --- Then at him. --- And finally delivered the sentence that made everyone in the van lose their minds. --- "Kid." --- The founder sighed. --- "What now?" --- Rogue smiled. --- The full fixer smile. --- The apex predator smile. --- And calmly said: --- "You didn't accidentally become a fixer." --- The founder froze. --- The van froze. --- The universe froze. --- Then Rogue finished: --- "You accidentally became a corporation." --- The silence that followed could probably be heard from orbit. 😄 --- # Chapter 19 — The Corporation The founder stared at Rogue. Rogue stared at the founder. Everyone else stared at the founder. --- The founder pointed at himself. --- Slowly. --- Carefully. --- Like a man identifying the victim at his own crime scene. --- "Corporation." --- Rogue nodded. --- "Corporation." --- "No." --- "Yes." --- "No." --- The fake Trio immediately joined in. --- "Yes." --- The founder looked heartbroken. --- "Why are you all like this?" --- Nobody answered. --- Mostly because nobody had a good answer. --- Then Mai made the mistake. --- The fatal mistake. --- She started doing math. --- Everyone recognized the look immediately. --- Ace groaned. --- "Oh no." --- Mai ignored her. --- The founder looked alarmed. --- Correctly. --- "Subscribers." --- A finger. --- "Advertising." --- Another. --- "Merchandise." --- Another. --- "User engagement." --- Another. --- "Community moderation." --- Another. --- "Independent information gathering." --- Another. --- "Market influence." --- Another. --- "Secondary economic activity." --- Another. --- "Prediction markets." --- The founder slowly began sinking into his seat. --- Because she wasn't joking. --- She was building a case. --- A terrifyingly coherent case. --- Then Mai looked up. --- "...Rogue is right." --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- The founder physically recoiled. --- "STOP HELPING HER." --- "I am not helping her." --- "YOU ABSOLUTELY ARE." --- Kiro was laughing so hard the video feed kept freezing. --- The fake Trio had completely abandoned reality. --- Even Shammy looked sympathetic. --- Which somehow made everything worse. --- Then Rogue casually asked: --- "Revenue." --- The founder froze. --- Immediately. --- Nobody liked that. --- Especially Rogue. --- Because fixers had predator instincts. --- And that freeze meant something. --- "Kid." --- The founder looked out the window. --- The window remained loyal to nobody. --- "Kid." --- "...what." --- "Revenue." --- The founder sighed. --- The sigh of a man who knew resistance was futile. --- Then quietly answered. --- "...good." --- The van died. --- Completely. --- Rogue stared. --- Ace stared. --- Mai stared. --- Shammy stared. --- The fake Trio stared. --- Kiro nearly disconnected again. --- Then Rogue asked the question. --- The question. --- The really dangerous question. --- "How good?" --- The founder looked physically uncomfortable. --- The way people looked when discussing taxes. --- Or explosives. --- Or taxes involving explosives. --- Finally: --- "...very good." --- Nobody moved. --- Because everyone knew exactly what that meant. --- It meant the number was funny. --- Dangerously funny. --- The founder slowly opened a spreadsheet. --- The room immediately regretted it. --- Revenue numbers appeared. --- The fake Trio saw them first. --- Then Rina stopped breathing. --- Jules made a noise. --- Tess simply closed her eyes. --- Ace leaned forward. --- Then stopped. --- Then leaned forward again. --- "No." --- The founder nodded sadly. --- "Yes." --- "No." --- "Very yes." --- Rogue stared at the number. --- Then slowly lowered the datapad. --- For several seconds she said nothing. --- Which terrified everyone. --- Because Rogue always had something to say. --- Then finally: --- "Kid." --- The founder flinched. --- "Yeah?" --- "Do your parents know?" --- The van exploded so hard that a nearby pedestrian looked over. --- The founder buried his face in both hands. --- "Why does everybody ask that?" --- "Because the answer is obviously no." Ace replied. --- "Correct." --- The fake Trio nodded. --- "Definitely no." --- "Absolutely no." --- "One hundred percent no." --- The founder looked betrayed. --- Then the van door opened. --- Again. --- Everyone froze. --- Again. --- Because apparently random people could just enter now. --- A woman climbed inside. --- Looked around. --- Spotted the founder. --- Pointed. --- "There you are." --- The founder immediately looked horrified. --- "Oh no." --- The newcomer folded her arms. --- "You ignored my proposal." --- The van became silent. --- The founder looked trapped. --- "What proposal?" Ace asked. --- The woman blinked. --- Then pointed at the founder. --- "I wanted to buy the forum." --- The van froze. --- Completely. --- The founder froze. --- Rogue froze. --- Even Mai froze. --- Because suddenly... --- This wasn't funny anymore. --- No. --- It was much funnier. --- The woman pulled up a contract. --- A real contract. --- A corporate contract. --- A legitimate acquisition offer. --- The founder immediately tried to grab it. --- Too late. --- Ace already had it. --- Ace read the first page. --- Then the second. --- Then the number. --- The silence that followed was legendary. --- Slowly. Very slowly. --- Ace handed the datapad to Mai. --- Mai read it. --- Then handed it to Shammy. --- Shammy read it. --- Then handed it to Rogue. --- Rogue read it. --- Then everybody looked at the founder. --- The founder looked back. --- "...what." --- Ace pointed at the contract. --- Then calmly said: --- "Somebody offered to buy your conspiracy theory forum for more money than I've made in the last three years." --- The founder immediately stopped existing. 😄 --- # Chapter 20 — Due Diligence The founder had stopped functioning. Entirely. --- Not metaphorically. --- Not emotionally. --- Systemically. --- The contract sat in Ace's hands. --- The number remained visible. --- Nobody spoke. --- Because everybody was busy recalculating their understanding of reality. --- Finally the founder managed: --- "...that's not real." --- The woman who had entered the van looked confused. --- "Of course it's real." --- The founder pointed at the contract. --- "That's too much money." --- The woman blinked. --- Then looked at the contract. --- Then at him. --- Then back at the contract. --- Then shrugged. --- "We thought so too." --- The van exploded. --- Again. --- Rogue physically leaned back. --- "Oh this is beautiful." --- The founder looked like somebody trying to stop a flood with a spoon. --- "Why would anyone pay that?" --- The woman immediately answered. --- "Data." --- The laughter stopped. --- Not entirely. --- Just enough. --- Because suddenly everyone in the van understood. --- The joke. The forum. The merch. The rankings. The conspiracy theories. --- That wasn't what the corporation wanted. --- They wanted the users. --- Forty-eight thousand users. --- Forty-eight thousand people voluntarily reporting what they saw around Night City. --- The founder slowly looked toward Rogue. --- Then toward Mai. --- Then toward Kiro. --- Then back at the contract. --- "Oh." --- Mai nodded. --- "There it is." --- The realization landed. --- Hard. --- The forum wasn't valuable because it was correct. --- The forum was valuable because it was watching. --- Thousands of people. Thousands of observations. Thousands of tiny fragments. --- Together forming something useful. --- The founder slowly sat down. --- "That's creepy." --- Rogue immediately pointed. --- "You invented it." --- "Accidentally." --- "Still counts." --- Fair. --- The corporate representative folded her arms. --- "Are you selling?" --- The founder looked horrified. --- Then looked at the contract. --- Then looked at the forum. --- Then looked at the binder. --- Then looked at the fake Trio. --- Then at the real Triad. --- Then at Rogue. --- Then at the contract again. --- The entire van watched. --- Because this was now somehow the climax. --- Not a gunfight. Not a corporate raid. Not a cyberpsycho. --- A business decision. --- Night City remained undefeated. --- The founder thought. --- Longer than anyone expected. --- Then finally: --- "...can I ask a question?" --- The representative nodded. --- "Sure." --- The founder pointed at the contract. --- "If I sell." --- A pause. --- "What happens to the forum?" --- The representative opened her mouth. --- Stopped. --- Thought. --- Then gave the honest answer. --- Which was a mistake. --- "We'd optimize it." --- The founder frowned. --- "Meaning?" --- "We'd improve engagement." --- The fake Trio immediately groaned. --- They knew corporate language. --- Everybody did. --- The founder looked suspicious. --- "Meaning?" --- The representative sighed. --- "Targeted advertising." --- The founder frowned harder. --- "Meaning?" --- "We'd probably remove the rankings." --- The van froze. --- The representative immediately realized she had stepped on a landmine. --- A very large landmine. --- The founder stared. --- For several seconds. --- Then: --- "...remove the rankings." --- The representative smiled nervously. --- "Some of them." --- The founder stared. --- Then slowly looked around the van. --- At Ace. --- At Mai. --- At Shammy. --- At Rogue. --- At the fake Trio. --- Then back at the representative. --- And for the first time all day... he looked genuinely offended. --- "You don't understand the product." --- The van died. --- Completely. --- Because somehow... --- The nineteen-year-old had just sounded exactly like a founder. --- A real founder. --- The representative blinked. --- "What?" --- The founder pointed at the contract. --- Then at the binder. --- Then at the forum. --- Then at the stupid shirt. --- Then at everything. --- "The rankings are the product." --- The fake Trio immediately applauded. --- Rogue nearly choked on her cigarette. --- Kiro disappeared from the call laughing. --- Even Mai looked impressed. --- The representative looked confused. --- The founder continued. --- "People don't come for information." --- A finger. --- "They come to argue." --- Another. --- "They stay for information." --- The van went completely silent. --- Because the annoying little idiot was right. --- Absolutely right. --- The representative realized it too. --- Unfortunately. --- The founder leaned back. --- Folded his arms. --- Looked at the contract. --- Then calmly pushed it back. --- "No." --- The representative blinked. --- "What?" --- "No." --- The number sat on the page. --- Enough money to change a life. --- Enough money to buy apartments. Cars. Security. Freedom. --- And the founder had just refused it. --- The representative stared. --- "...why?" --- The founder thought for a second. --- Then pointed at Ace. --- "Oh, that's easy." --- Ace immediately looked nervous. --- "Why am I involved?" --- The founder smiled. --- Because after six years of arguments, graphs, rankings, charts, conspiracy theories and increasingly questionable life choices... --- He finally got to say it. --- "Because if I sell the forum..." --- A pause. --- "The next guy is absolutely putting Ace in S-tier." --- The van exploded so hard that even Rogue had to wipe tears from her eyes. 😄 --- # Chapter 21 — The Tier War The van required several minutes to recover. --- Not because of the contract. Not because of the money. Not because of the corporation. --- Because of S-tier. --- Specifically because the founder had said it with complete sincerity. --- Ace pointed at him. --- Slowly. --- Carefully. --- Like somebody identifying a dangerous animal. --- "You already have tiers." --- The founder nodded. --- "Yes." --- "You already ranked us." --- Another nod. --- "Repeatedly." --- Another. --- "Then why would I suddenly become S-tier?" --- The founder looked genuinely confused. --- Because to him the answer was obvious. --- "Because the current system is community-driven." --- The van became silent. --- Nobody liked where this was going. --- Not even Rogue. --- Especially not Rogue. --- The founder continued. --- "If a corporation buys it..." --- A pause. --- "They'll optimize engagement." --- Everybody groaned. --- The corporate representative looked offended. --- "We don't always—" --- "Yes you do." Five voices replied simultaneously. --- The representative looked betrayed. --- Fair. --- The founder pointed at Ace. --- "They'll make her S-tier." --- Another point. --- "They'll make Mai A-tier." --- Mai immediately frowned. --- "Why am I being demoted?" --- The founder ignored her. --- Then pointed at Shammy. --- "They'll put Shammy in a category called Support." --- The entire van exploded. --- Hard. --- The fake Trio physically recoiled. --- Rogue nearly inhaled her cigarette. --- Kiro vanished from the call. --- Even the representative looked uncomfortable. --- Shammy blinked. --- "What." --- The founder looked horrified. --- "Exactly." --- He pointed dramatically. --- "EXACTLY." --- The fake Trio immediately joined him. --- "Exactly." --- "That's exactly what they'd do." --- "It would be terrible." --- The representative looked increasingly worried. --- Because she was slowly realizing they were probably right. --- Then Mai made a terrible mistake. --- A truly catastrophic mistake. --- She asked: --- "Who is currently S-tier?" --- The founder froze. --- The fake Trio froze. --- Kiro's laughter abruptly stopped. --- Even Rogue looked interested. --- The representative sensed danger. --- Correctly. --- The founder slowly opened the forum. --- The page appeared. --- Everyone leaned closer. --- The title read: --- ## MERC THREAT INDEX --- The categories scrolled by. --- D-Tier. --- C-Tier. --- B-Tier. --- A-Tier. --- Absolutely Not. --- Then... --- Nothing. --- Ace frowned. --- "Where's S-tier?" --- The founder looked uncomfortable. --- Very uncomfortable. --- The fake Trio suddenly became fascinated by literally anything else. --- Mai noticed immediately. --- "Kid." --- The founder sighed. --- The sigh of a man whose mistakes had finally caught up with him. --- Then he scrolled. --- Past the rankings. --- Past the categories. --- Past the normal entries. --- To a hidden section. --- The title appeared. --- The van became silent. --- Then more silent. --- Then somehow even more silent. --- The title read: --- ## DO NOT TEST --- Nobody moved. --- Nobody breathed confidently. --- Ace slowly pointed. --- "...what." --- The founder looked embarrassed. --- "It started as a joke." --- That sentence had become a curse. --- Everything started as a joke. --- Then Night City happened. --- The founder opened the category. --- Three entries appeared. --- The first was a legendary cyberpsycho. --- The second was a retired Solo everyone thought was dead. --- The third was... --- Rogue. --- The entire van exploded. --- The representative nearly fell out the door. --- The fake Trio became non-functional. --- Kiro disconnected completely. --- Ace physically pointed. --- "ROGUE?" --- The founder immediately defended himself. --- "Nobody tests Rogue." --- Fair. --- Shockingly fair. --- Rogue looked at the screen. --- Then at the founder. --- Then back at the screen. --- Then quietly asked: --- "I'm above the Triad." --- The founder nodded. --- "Yes." --- The van waited. --- Then Rogue smiled. --- A tiny smile. --- A dangerous smile. --- A satisfied smile. --- The founder immediately looked relieved. --- Huge mistake. --- Because Mai was still reading. --- And Mai had discovered something. --- Something much worse. --- Something catastrophic. --- She slowly looked up. --- Then at the founder. --- Then at the fake Trio. --- Then back at the screen. --- The room immediately sensed danger. --- "Mai." Ace said carefully. --- Mai pointed at a tiny note at the bottom of the page. --- A footnote. --- One innocent little footnote. --- The founder saw it. --- And immediately tried to close the page. --- Too late. --- Far too late. --- Mai read it aloud. --- Slowly. --- Clearly. --- With devastating precision. --- > Community proposal under review: > > Create separate category for Mai. --- The van froze. --- Nobody moved. --- Nobody blinked. --- Nobody survived. --- Then Mai continued reading. --- > Working title: > > "Technically Correct." --- The fake Trio died instantly. --- Ace hit the wall. --- Shammy folded in half laughing. --- Rogue actually had tears in her eyes. --- The founder looked at the ceiling. --- The ceiling once again refused to help. --- And somewhere, deep within the forum... forty-eight thousand idiots were apparently debating whether Mai was too dangerous to be measured on the same scale as everyone else. 😄 --- # Chapter 22 — The Appeals Process Mai was no longer speaking. Which worried everyone. --- Not because she was angry. --- Because she was thinking. --- And when Mai stopped speaking to think... --- Entire organizations occasionally regretted it. --- The founder noticed too. --- "Uh." --- Nobody helped him. --- Not even Shammy. --- Especially not Shammy. --- Because Shammy was still laughing. --- Hard. --- The footnote remained on the screen. --- **Technically Correct** --- Ace had recovered enough to breathe. --- Barely. --- "Mai." --- No response. --- "Mai." --- Still no response. --- The founder looked increasingly alarmed. --- "Is that bad?" --- The entire van answered immediately. --- "YES." --- The founder visibly shrank. --- Then Mai finally spoke. --- Calmly. --- Far too calmly. --- "I have questions." --- The founder immediately looked toward Rogue. --- Rogue looked away. --- Traitor. --- "Questions?" --- "Several." --- The founder sighed. --- The sigh of a man who had accidentally summoned a boss fight. --- "Okay." --- Mai pointed at the forum. --- "Who proposed the category?" --- The founder checked. --- Then froze. --- "Oh." --- Nobody liked that. --- Not anymore. --- "What oh?" Ace asked. --- The founder zoomed in. --- Then winced. --- The proposal had a username attached. --- A very familiar username. --- One that everyone in the van immediately recognized. --- **DefinitelyNotAce** --- The van detonated. --- The fake Trio physically fell over. --- Kiro reconnected just in time to start laughing again. --- Rogue lowered her head onto the table. --- The founder looked like he wanted to escape through the floor. --- Mai slowly turned toward him. --- Very slowly. --- The kind of slowly usually reserved for orbital weapons. --- "You." --- The founder pointed at himself. --- Defensively. --- "It was a joke." --- The silence was devastating. --- Because nobody believed him. --- Not even slightly. --- The founder pointed at the screen. --- "It was funny." --- Ace immediately nodded. --- "To be fair." --- Mai looked at her. --- Ace looked away. --- Cowardly. --- Correctly. --- The founder seized the opportunity. --- "See?" --- Mai pointed at the proposal. --- "What exactly was the justification?" --- The founder froze again. --- Everybody groaned. --- Because if he was freezing... --- The answer was going to be spectacular. --- The founder slowly opened the proposal. --- Then closed his eyes. --- Once. --- Briefly. --- Like a man saying goodbye to loved ones. --- Then he read. --- > Justification: > > Existing categories fail to accurately describe Mai. --- The fake Trio immediately died. --- Again. --- The founder continued. --- > Community reports indicate that Mai's threat level is frequently misunderstood. --- Ace was already laughing. --- Shammy was losing the ability to sit upright. --- Rogue looked fascinated. --- The founder kept reading. --- > Example: > > Witnesses regularly report feeling safe after meeting Mai. --- A pause. --- > Subsequent events suggest this confidence was misplaced. --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- Even Mai closed her eyes. --- The founder pointed helplessly. --- "I DIDN'T WRITE THAT PART." --- Nobody cared. --- Because the comments were visible. --- Thousands of comments. --- Far too many comments. --- The first comment read: --- > Mai isn't dangerous. > > She simply explains why danger is already happening. --- The second: --- > Mai is what happens when a spreadsheet learns violence. --- The third: --- > If Mai says "technically," > > leave. --- The van ceased to function. --- At all. --- Kiro had vanished again. --- The fake Trio were making noises normally associated with respiratory failure. --- Even Rogue looked wounded. --- Then Ace noticed something. --- A small button. --- A very dangerous button. --- At the bottom of the proposal. --- One innocent little button. --- The button read: --- **Community Vote** --- Ace smiled. --- The founder immediately noticed. --- "Oh no." --- "Oh yes." Ace replied. --- The founder looked toward Mai. --- Then toward Rogue. --- Then toward literally anybody. --- Nobody helped. --- Because Ace had already clicked it. --- The live results appeared. --- The entire van leaned forward. --- Current vote: --- **Create Category: 87%** --- The founder covered his face. --- Mai stared at the number. --- Then at the founder. --- Then at the number again. --- Finally: --- "Eighty-seven percent." --- The founder nodded weakly. --- "Eighty-seven percent." --- The fake Trio immediately pointed. --- "That's actually lower than yesterday." --- The van exploded so hard that Rogue had to grab the side of the seat. --- Even Mai looked offended by that. --- Which somehow made it even funnier. --- Then Rogue noticed another button. --- And unlike Ace... --- Nobody trusted Rogue with buttons. --- Nobody. --- The button read: --- **View Alternate Names** --- The founder immediately lunged. --- Too late. --- Far too late. --- Rogue clicked it. --- The room became silent. --- A list appeared. --- Suggested category names included: --- **Technically Correct** --- **I Have Concerns** --- **Please Elaborate Elsewhere** --- **The Spreadsheet Witch** --- And currently leading by a comfortable margin... --- Rogue slowly read it aloud. --- Then had to stop halfway because she was laughing. --- The founder looked like he wanted witness protection. --- Mai looked like she was considering arson. --- And Ace was already on the floor. --- Because the leading proposal was: --- ## "Mai Explained It" --- With forty-three thousand votes. 😄 --- # Chapter 23 — Community Feedback The van had reached a point where reality was no longer participating. It was merely observing. --- The category proposal remained on the screen. --- **Mai Explained It** --- Forty-three thousand votes. --- Forty-three. Thousand. Votes. --- Mai stared at the screen. --- The screen stared back. --- Neither side blinked. --- Ace was still sitting on the floor. --- Not because she had fallen. --- Because standing was no longer realistic. --- Shammy was trying to help. --- This was making things worse. --- "At least they respect you." --- Mai slowly turned toward her. --- The founder immediately winced. --- "Oh, that's not helping." --- "No?" Shammy asked. --- "No." Eight people answered simultaneously. --- The fake Trio were completely useless now. --- Rina had tears running down her face. --- Jules was wheezing. --- Tess had accepted death. --- Then Ace noticed something. --- A very important something. --- A truly catastrophic something. --- A tab. --- Another tab. --- A tab nobody had opened yet. --- The tab read: --- **Appeals Process** --- The founder immediately lunged. --- Again. --- Too late. --- Again. --- Ace clicked it. --- The van became silent. --- Then more silent. --- Then somehow even more silent. --- Because apparently... --- Apparently... --- The forum had a formal appeals process. --- For rankings. --- Nobody moved. --- Nobody spoke. --- Then Rogue quietly asked: --- "Why." --- The founder covered his face. --- "People complained." --- "About rankings." --- "Constantly." --- The fake Trio immediately nodded. --- "Constantly." --- "Relentlessly." --- "Every day." --- The founder pointed. --- "See?" --- Nobody saw. --- Nobody wanted to see. --- But the page was already open. --- The appeal statistics appeared. --- Most successful appeal: --- **Mercenary mistakenly ranked as deceased.** --- Fair. --- Second most successful: --- **Cyberpsycho incorrectly listed as active.** --- Also fair. --- Third most successful: --- The room froze. --- The title read: --- **Petition To Move Rogue Higher** --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- Rogue physically stopped moving. --- Ace pointed at the screen. --- "No." --- The founder nodded sadly. --- "Yes." --- "No." --- "Very yes." --- The appeal had failed. --- Spectacularly. --- The explanation was visible. --- The moderator response read: --- > There is no higher category. --- The fake Trio died. --- Again. --- Even Rogue smiled. --- Just a little. --- A tiny smile. --- The dangerous smile. --- The founder noticed. --- And immediately regretted everything. --- Then Mai found another section. --- Of course she did. --- Because Mai had entered the phase where curiosity had replaced self-preservation. --- The section title read: --- **Frequently Asked Questions** --- The founder made a sound. --- A horrible sound. --- A sound normally associated with impending doom. --- "Oh no." --- "Oh yes." Ace replied. --- The FAQ opened. --- Question One: --- > Is Ace real? --- Answer: --- > Evidence remains inconclusive. --- The van detonated. --- Immediately. --- Question Two: --- > Is Mai actually scarier than Ace? --- Answer: --- > Community remains divided. --- Question Three: --- > Is Shammy disappointed in me? --- The van stopped. --- Completely. --- Nobody moved. --- Nobody breathed. --- The founder slowly closed his eyes. --- Because he already knew. --- He knew exactly what was coming. --- Ace read the answer aloud. --- Very carefully. --- Very slowly. --- With maximum emotional damage. --- > If you need to ask, > > probably. --- The van achieved transcendence. --- Shammy physically folded forward laughing. --- The fake Trio ceased to be a coherent life form. --- Kiro disconnected again. --- And even Rogue had reached the point where she wasn't pretending to be professional anymore. --- Then the founder noticed something. --- Something terrible. --- Something truly awful. --- The live user count. --- His eyes widened. --- Immediately. --- "Oh no." --- Everybody froze. --- Because now _he_ was saying it. --- "What?" Mai asked. --- The founder pointed at the screen. --- Then at the van. --- Then at the screen again. --- The live user count was climbing. --- Rapidly. --- Very rapidly. --- The current top thread on the entire website had just changed. --- The title appeared. --- The van became silent. --- The title read: --- ## LIVE: TRIAD SPOTTED IN SURVEILLANCE VAN --- Nobody moved. --- Nobody blinked. --- Nobody survived. --- Current viewers: --- 12,487 --- And rising. --- The founder slowly looked around the van. --- At Rogue. At Ace. At Mai. At Shammy. At the fake Trio. --- Then quietly said the single funniest sentence of the entire investigation. --- "...I think we're trending." 😄 --- # Chapter 24 — Trending The founder was trending. The van was trending. The investigation was trending. --- And somehow... --- This was the founder's fault. --- Again. --- The live thread continued climbing. --- 12,487 viewers. --- 12,923. --- 13,401. --- 13,988. --- The numbers rolled upward like a stock market during a collective lapse in judgment. --- Ace stared at the counter. --- Then at the founder. --- Then back at the counter. --- "How." --- The founder pointed helplessly at the internet. --- "The internet." --- "That's not an explanation." --- "It absolutely is." --- Unfortunately... --- It absolutely was. --- The fake Trio immediately started reading the thread. --- Huge mistake. --- Massive mistake. --- Catastrophic mistake. --- Because now they could see the live comments. --- And the comments were updating faster than anyone could read. --- Rina froze. --- "Oh no." --- "What?" Rogue asked. --- Rina turned the screen around. --- The latest comment read: --- > The van is definitely fake. --- The next: --- > No, the van is real. > > The Triad is fake. --- The next: --- > Classic disinformation. --- The next: --- > Look at the window reflections. --- The next: --- > ENHANCE. --- The next: --- > Somebody enhance the noodles. --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- The founder looked offended. --- "They always do this." --- Ace pointed. --- "They're analyzing noodles." --- "Correct." --- "WHY?" --- The founder shrugged. --- "Pattern recognition." --- Nobody liked that answer. --- Not even the noodles. --- Then Kiro suddenly reappeared. --- Immediately. --- Urgently. --- Dangerously. --- "Oh no." --- The van groaned. --- Collectively. --- Nobody had ever hated two words more. --- "What now?" Mai asked. --- Kiro pointed at the screen. --- Then at another screen. --- Then at a third. --- Then started laughing. --- The really dangerous laugh. --- The netrunner laugh. --- The laugh that meant reality had just slipped on a banana peel. --- "THEY FOUND THE VAN." --- Silence. --- Complete silence. --- Ace blinked. --- "What." --- Kiro zoomed in. --- The thread had spawned a second thread. --- Then a third. --- Then a fourth. --- The community had begun triangulating the location. --- Using: - reflections - traffic patterns - noodle shop signs - weather reports - parked vehicles --- And somehow... --- They were getting close. --- The fake Trio stared. --- The real Triad stared. --- Even Rogue looked impressed. --- "Huh." --- Nobody liked hearing _huh_ from Rogue. --- It usually meant someone competent had appeared. --- The founder buried his face in his hands. --- "They've entered the hobby phase." --- "The WHAT phase?" Shammy asked. --- The founder looked genuinely tired. --- "The part where they stop having fun." --- A pause. --- "And start being good at it." --- The van became very quiet. --- Because somehow that sounded worse. --- Then Ace noticed a new comment. --- One tiny little comment. --- One innocent little comment. --- The sort of comment that destroyed worlds. --- Ace slowly read it aloud. --- > If this is the real Triad, > > somebody ask Mai whether she knows about the category proposal. --- The van froze. --- Every single person inside. --- Then another comment appeared. --- > She definitely knows. --- Another. --- > Look at the body language. --- Another. --- > She's in phase three. --- Mai slowly turned toward the founder. --- "What." --- The founder immediately looked terrified. --- "Oh no." --- "What is phase three?" --- The founder pointed at the screen. --- Then at Mai. --- Then at the screen again. --- "They made a chart." --- The van died. --- Immediately. --- Ace sat down. --- Slowly. --- Because she already knew. --- Of course they made a chart. --- Of course. --- Why wouldn't they? --- The founder opened another page. --- The title appeared. --- The fake Trio immediately started laughing. --- Kiro vanished again. --- Rogue leaned back. --- Already defeated. --- The title read: --- ## Observed Stages Of Mai Learning About A Problem --- The chart contained: --- **Phase 1 — Confusion** --- **Phase 2 — Clarification** --- **Phase 3 — Silence** --- **Phase 4 — Questions** --- **Phase 5 — The Problem Learns It Is A Problem** --- The van achieved enlightenment. --- Nobody remained connected to reality. --- Not even Mai. --- Because the worst part... --- The absolute worst part... --- Was that the chart was surprisingly accurate. --- The founder pointed helplessly. --- "I didn't make that one." --- Nobody cared. --- Because at that exact moment... --- The live thread updated again. --- A new comment appeared. --- Pinned. --- Highlighted. --- Written by a user called: --- **AfterlifeAdmin** --- The van froze. --- The founder froze. --- Rogue froze. --- Everybody froze. --- The comment contained only one sentence. --- > Tell Rogue she's parked in a loading zone. --- Silence. --- Utter. Absolute. Legendary silence. --- Then every head in the van slowly turned toward Rogue. --- Who looked out the windshield. --- Then at the curb. --- Then at the sign. --- Then back at everyone. --- A long pause. --- Then: --- "...goddammit." --- And the entire van detonated into laughter. 😄 --- # Chapter 25 — The Meet-Up Problem The problem started with a poll. Naturally. --- Every disaster in Night City eventually involved one of three things: - money - drugs - somebody making a poll --- This one was the third category. --- The thread continued exploding. --- Viewer count climbing. Comments flying. People arguing. People arguing about people arguing. People arguing about whether people should be arguing. --- The normal internet experience. --- Then somebody posted a suggestion. --- One simple suggestion. --- One catastrophically stupid suggestion. --- The founder saw it first. --- "Oh no." --- The van groaned collectively. --- Nobody liked those words anymore. --- "What now?" Ace asked. --- The founder slowly pointed at the screen. --- Then immediately covered his face. --- The highlighted comment read: --- > We should meet. --- Silence. --- Nothing happened. --- Then another comment appeared. --- > Actually yes. --- Another. --- > IRL meet-up. --- Another. --- > At the noodle shop. --- Another. --- > RIGHT NOW. --- The entire van died. --- Instantly. --- Rogue physically lowered her forehead onto the steering wheel. --- A long horn blast echoed through the street. --- Nobody blamed her. --- The founder looked genuinely distressed. --- "No." --- The comment count doubled. --- Immediately. --- Because somebody had created a poll. --- Of course they had. --- The poll appeared. --- ### SHOULD WE DO A FORUM MEET-UP? --- **YES — 94%** --- **NO — 6%** --- The founder clicked the 6%. --- Immediately. --- The vote percentage dropped to: --- **YES — 94%** **NO — 6%** --- Nothing changed. --- The founder looked betrayed. --- "My vote didn't matter." --- "Welcome to democracy." Rogue replied. --- Fair. --- Outside the noodle shop... --- People began arriving. --- Not many. --- At first. --- A few curious users. A few lurkers. A few terminally online disasters. --- Then more. --- Then more. --- Then a lot more. --- The fake Trio stared through the windshield. --- "Oh my god." --- A woman walked past wearing a shirt. --- ### TEAM MAI --- Another. --- ### ACE IS PROBABLY REAL --- Another. --- ### SHAMMY BELIEVER --- The van exploded. --- Again. --- The founder looked physically ill. --- "I didn't approve those." --- Nobody believed him. --- Not for a second. --- Then Leon looked outside. --- And immediately started laughing. --- The dangerous laugh. --- The laugh that meant reality had suffered a structural failure. --- "Oh." --- "No." The founder replied. --- "Oh yes." --- Leon pointed. --- Across the street. --- A folding table. --- Nobody knew where it came from. --- Nobody knew who owned it. --- Nobody knew how long it had been there. --- A hand-painted sign sat on top. --- The sign read: --- ## VENT THEORY SOCIETY --- The van became silent. --- Then Ace saw it. --- Then Ace stopped functioning. --- Because three people were standing around the table. --- Holding diagrams. --- Actual diagrams. --- One pointed toward a building. --- Another pointed toward a ventilation shaft. --- The third nodded solemnly. --- Like they were discussing astrophysics. --- Not... --- Whatever this was. --- Ace lowered her head. --- "No." --- The founder immediately pointed. --- "I didn't start that." --- The fake Trio simultaneously pointed at him. --- "Yes you did." --- "Absolutely you did." --- "One hundred percent you did." --- Fair. --- Then Shammy noticed another group. --- A much larger group. --- And immediately regretted it. --- The banner read: --- ## TEAM SHAMMY --- The van froze. --- Because there were dozens of them. --- Dozens. --- One woman handed out stickers. --- Another distributed pamphlets. --- Another wore a shirt reading: --- ### SHE'S NOT DISAPPOINTED --- Shammy stared. --- Then stared harder. --- Then: --- "...what." --- The founder looked away. --- Cowardly. --- Correctly. --- Then Mai noticed something. --- Which was unfortunate. --- Because Mai noticing things never helped. --- There was another group. --- A very organized group. --- Far too organized. --- Their banner read: --- ## MAI EXPLAINED IT --- The silence that followed was catastrophic. --- The group had clipboards. --- Actual clipboards. --- One member appeared to be collecting survey responses. --- Another was handing out printed flowcharts. --- The fake Trio instantly died. --- Rogue nearly crashed into the steering wheel laughing. --- Even Ace couldn't survive that one. --- Then the founder made the mistake. --- A fatal mistake. --- He looked at the live thread. --- And read the latest comment aloud. --- Slowly. --- With maximum emotional damage. --- > Guys. > > If enough people show up, > > we can have elections. --- The van exploded so hard that even Rogue looked scared. --- Because for the first time all day... --- Something had appeared that was truly terrifying. --- Not corporations. Not cyberpsychos. Not gangs. --- Forum users. --- Trying to organize. 😄 --- # Chapter 26 — Campaign Season The forum had discovered democracy. This was unfortunate. --- Very unfortunate. --- Potentially city-threatening. --- The poll continued climbing. --- The crowd continued growing. --- The founder continued suffering. --- Everything was proceeding according to Night City standards. --- Outside, somebody had already produced a second folding table. --- Nobody knew where. Nobody knew how. Nobody wanted to know. --- The sign read: --- ## ELECTION COMMITTEE --- The van immediately died. --- Rogue pointed at it. --- "No." --- The founder looked horrified. --- "YES." --- "No." --- "YES." --- The fake Trio immediately checked the forum. --- Then groaned. --- Then groaned louder. --- Then somehow groaned even louder. --- "What?" Ace asked. --- Rina turned the screen around. --- The thread title had changed. --- Not evolved. --- Changed. --- Completely. --- The original topic was gone. --- Buried beneath thousands of comments. --- The new title read: --- ## FIRST ANNUAL FORUM ELECTION --- The founder stared. --- "...annual." --- A pause. --- "ANNUAL." --- Leon nodded. --- "People are planning ahead." --- The founder pointed. --- "IT HAS BEEN THIRTY MINUTES." --- The crowd outside did not care. --- Democracy had entered the hobby phase. --- Which was apparently much worse. --- Then somebody posted the question. --- The question. --- The catastrophic question. --- The thread exploded. --- The van froze. --- The founder froze. --- Even Rogue froze. --- Because the question read: --- > Who should represent the community? --- The founder immediately stood up. --- "No." --- The poll appeared. --- Immediately. --- Like an ambush predator. --- The options loaded. --- ### FOUNDER --- ### ROGUE --- ### ACE --- ### MAI --- ### SHAMMY --- ### SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS VENTS --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- The founder physically sat back down. --- "No." --- Ace pointed. --- "Why is that last one a category?" --- Leon checked. --- Then sighed. --- "Vent Theory Society." --- Fair. --- Unfortunately fair. --- Then the vote count started moving. --- Fast. --- Very fast. --- The founder watched. --- Then paled. --- "Oh no." --- Nobody liked those words. --- "What now?" Shammy asked. --- The founder pointed at the screen. --- His name was winning. --- By a lot. --- A terrifying amount. --- The founder stared. --- Then stared harder. --- Then: --- "...why." --- The first reply appeared instantly. --- > He started the forum. --- Another. --- > He has the binder. --- Another. --- > He survived Rogue. --- Another. --- > Leadership material. --- The founder looked personally attacked. --- "I am NONE OF THOSE THINGS." --- The fake Trio immediately pointed at him. --- "Binder." --- "Damn it." --- Then a second poll appeared. --- Nobody had asked for it. --- Nobody wanted it. --- Nobody could stop it. --- ### WHO IS THE MOST TRUSTWORTHY TRIAD MEMBER? --- The van became silent. --- Then the results started appearing. --- Shammy: 81% --- Ace: 11% --- Mai: 8% --- Shammy blinked. --- "What." --- Ace nodded. --- "Fair." --- Mai nodded. --- "Also fair." --- Shammy looked betrayed. --- "Why am I winning?" --- Leon checked the comments. --- Then immediately started laughing. --- The top comment read: --- > Because she would feel bad about lying. --- The van exploded again. --- Then another poll appeared. --- Because apparently pain came in bundles. --- ### WHO WOULD WIN AN ARGUMENT AGAINST MAI? --- The results loaded. --- Nobody. --- 100%. --- Mai looked offended. --- Rogue looked impressed. --- The founder looked exhausted. --- Then the final blow landed. --- A new thread appeared. --- Pinned. --- Highlighted. --- Already gaining hundreds of replies per minute. --- The title read: --- ## OFFICIAL CANDIDATE DEBATE — TONIGHT --- The founder froze. --- Everyone froze. --- Even the crowd outside seemed to freeze. --- Then slowly... --- Very slowly... --- Every head inside the van turned toward the founder. --- The founder looked around. --- At Rogue. At Ace. At Mai. At Shammy. At Leon. At the fake Trio. --- Then pointed at himself. --- "...me?" --- The entire van answered in perfect unison: --- "YOU." --- And somewhere outside... --- A volunteer was already setting up a microphone. 😄🎤🗳️🚨 --- # Chapter 27 — The Candidate Debate The microphone was real. That was the problem. --- Not the crowd. Not the forum. Not the election. --- The microphone. --- Because microphones meant organization. --- Organization meant planning. --- Planning meant nobody was going home anytime soon. --- The founder stared through the windshield. --- The microphone stared back. --- "That's a real microphone." --- Ace nodded. --- "Good observation." --- "No." --- The founder pointed. --- "THAT'S A SOUND SYSTEM." --- The fake Trio looked. --- Then immediately groaned. --- Because it was. --- Not just a microphone. --- A stage. --- A tiny stage. --- A completely unnecessary stage. --- A stage that absolutely had not existed thirty minutes ago. --- The founder looked ready to leave Night City permanently. --- "Where did they get a stage?" --- Leon checked the thread. --- Then sighed. --- "The Vent Theory Society rented it." --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- Ace buried her face in her hands. --- "Of course they did." --- The founder pointed accusingly. --- "YOUR VENT PEOPLE." --- "I DON'T HAVE VENT PEOPLE." --- "You ABSOLUTELY have vent people." --- Fair. --- Then the forum updated. --- The candidate list appeared. --- Everyone immediately regretted looking. --- ### OFFICIAL CANDIDATES --- **Founder** --- **Founder (Serious Version)** --- **Founder (Vent-Friendly Platform)** --- **Rogue** --- **Shammy** --- **Local Noodle Vendor** --- The van died. --- Completely. --- The founder blinked. --- Then blinked again. --- Then pointed. --- "THERE ARE THREE OF ME." --- Leon nodded. --- "The community wanted options." --- The founder made a noise. --- A horrible noise. --- The sort of noise made by men discovering democracy in real time. --- Then Rogue noticed something. --- A detail. --- A very important detail. --- She wasn't winning. --- The founder wasn't winning. --- Nobody important was winning. --- The poll leader was: --- **Local Noodle Vendor** --- 38% --- The van exploded. --- Again. --- The founder stared. --- Then slowly turned toward the noodle shop. --- The noodle vendor was serving customers. --- Completely unaware. --- Or perhaps fully aware. --- At this point either was possible. --- Then a volunteer climbed onto the stage. --- Tapped the microphone. --- The speakers squealed. --- Every person in the street turned. --- The volunteer smiled. --- The smile of somebody who had absolutely no business being in charge of anything. --- "Welcome everyone!" --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The founder physically shrank. --- "No." --- The volunteer checked a datapad. --- Then continued. --- "Tonight's debate will determine the future direction of the community." --- The fake Trio immediately started laughing. --- Because the community was a forum. --- About rumors. --- And merchandise. --- And apparently vents. --- The volunteer continued. --- "Candidates will answer questions." --- The founder pointed. --- "I am not a candidate." --- The live poll immediately updated. --- ### FOUNDER REFUSES POWER +4% popularity --- The van exploded. --- The founder looked betrayed. --- "STOP VOTING." --- ### FOUNDER STANDS UP TO THE ESTABLISHMENT +2% popularity --- The founder sat down. --- Immediately. --- The vote went up again. --- The crowd outside applauded. --- The founder looked ready to cry. --- Then the moderator on stage announced the first debate question. --- The street became quiet. --- The volunteer read from the datapad. --- Then frowned. --- Then read it anyway. --- "Question one." --- A pause. --- A very unfortunate pause. --- "Should Ace be moved to S-Tier?" --- The entire street erupted. --- The van erupted. --- The forum erupted. --- The founder erupted. --- Even Rogue laughed. --- People were shouting. --- Actual shouting. --- One side: --- "S-TIER." --- Another side: --- "ABSOLUTELY NOT." --- Another: --- "DO NOT TEST." --- The Vent Theory Society had somehow produced charts. --- Again. --- Ace stared through the windshield. --- At the crowd. --- At the stage. --- At the madness. --- Then quietly said: --- "I killed cyberpsychos." --- A pause. --- "I fought corporations." --- Another. --- "I survived Night City." --- Another. --- Then she pointed at the crowd. --- "And somehow THIS is the thing that breaks me." --- The founder immediately nodded. --- "Welcome to my life." --- Then the volunteer announced the next debate question. --- The crowd became even louder. --- Because the question was: --- "Should Mai receive her own category?" --- The cheering could probably be heard in orbit. 😄🗳️🎤📊 --- # Chapter 28 — The Mai Question The volunteer looked at the datapad. The crowd looked at the volunteer. The entire street held its breath. --- Then the moderator read the question. --- "Should Mai receive her own category?" --- The answer arrived instantly. --- The crowd exploded. --- Absolutely exploded. --- People were cheering. People were arguing. People were already arguing about the cheering. --- The founder looked out the windshield. --- Then immediately regretted it. --- Because somebody had produced campaign signs. --- Actual campaign signs. --- ### MAI EXPLAINED IT --- ### MAKE THE CATEGORY REAL --- ### TECHNICALLY CORRECT --- The van died. --- Again. --- Mai stared. --- Then stared harder. --- Then: --- "...they made signs." --- Nobody answered. --- Because there were also stickers. --- And apparently pins. --- And somehow... --- Coffee mugs. --- The founder looked horrified. --- "I don't sell those." --- The fake Trio immediately pointed at him. --- "Not anymore." --- "You're losing control of the ecosystem." --- "Classic founder problem." --- The founder looked personally attacked. --- Fair. --- Outside, the debate moderator raised both hands. --- The crowd slowly quieted. --- Then somebody shouted: --- "SHE NEEDS HER OWN CATEGORY." --- Thunderous applause. --- Immediately. --- Then somebody else shouted: --- "THAT'S WHAT THE CATEGORY WOULD SAY." --- Even louder applause. --- The founder slowly lowered his head onto the dashboard. --- "No." --- The crowd had discovered recursive arguments. --- This was bad. --- Very bad. --- Then the moderator read the first official statement submitted by a user. --- The statement appeared on the giant portable screen. --- Nobody knew where the giant portable screen came from. --- Nobody wanted to know. --- The statement read: --- > Mai is not a threat level. > > Mai is a process. --- The street exploded. --- The van exploded. --- The forum exploded. --- Even Rogue had stopped pretending to be professional. --- Ace was crying. --- Actual tears. --- Shammy couldn't breathe. --- The fake Trio had become decorative again. --- Then another statement appeared. --- > You don't encounter Mai. > > You become a case study. --- The cheering somehow became louder. --- Mai looked at the screen. --- Then at the crowd. --- Then at the screen again. --- Finally: --- "I hate all of them." --- The live poll immediately updated. --- ### MAI ACKNOWLEDGES COMMUNITY +7% approval --- The van detonated. --- The founder stood up. --- "STOP TRACKING THAT." --- The approval jumped another 3%. --- The founder sat down. --- Another 2%. --- The crowd applauded. --- The founder looked ready to move to another continent. --- Then the moderator announced the next segment. --- The street became quiet. --- Dangerously quiet. --- Because the moderator smiled. --- And everyone had learned to fear that. --- "We will now hear from representatives of each community." --- The van froze. --- Because that sounded organized. --- And organized was bad. --- Very bad. --- The first group approached the microphone. --- The banner behind them read: --- ## TEAM SHAMMY --- The crowd cheered. --- A woman stepped up to the microphone. --- She looked nervous. --- Then took a breath. --- And said: --- "We just think she's nice." --- The crowd immediately applauded. --- The speech ended. --- The woman left. --- The entire Team Shammy platform consisted of: --- "She's nice." --- Nothing more. --- Nothing less. --- Shammy looked deeply confused. --- "That's it?" --- The founder checked the forum. --- Then nodded. --- "That's actually the entire movement." --- The van exploded. --- Then came Team Ace. --- This was worse. --- Much worse. --- The Team Ace representative walked to the microphone carrying a folder. --- A thick folder. --- Far too thick. --- Ace immediately noticed. --- "Oh no." --- The representative opened the folder. --- Charts. --- Graphs. --- Witness reports. --- Photographs. --- Flow diagrams. --- The crowd cheered. --- The representative cleared his throat. --- Then announced: --- "Today I will be presenting evidence." --- The van died. --- Completely. --- Because somehow... --- The Ace faction had become academics. --- While the Mai faction had become a religion. --- And the Shammy faction had become a support group. --- Night City remained undefeated. --- Then the moderator checked the schedule. --- Paused. --- Looked confused. --- Checked again. --- Then announced the final group. --- The group nobody in the van had noticed before. --- The crowd parted. --- A banner appeared. --- The founder immediately stopped breathing. --- The fake Trio froze. --- Leon froze. --- Even Rogue looked alarmed. --- The banner read: --- ## TRIAD ISN'T REAL MOVEMENT --- The crowd erupted. --- The van erupted. --- The representative approached the microphone. --- Adjusted it. --- Then calmly began speaking. --- "First." --- A pause. --- "Thank you all for coming." --- The crowd applauded. --- The representative smiled. --- Then pointed directly at the surveillance van. --- And said: --- "None of the people in that van are the real Triad." --- The entire street CHEERED. --- Ace slowly looked around. --- At Rogue. At Mai. At Shammy. At the founder. --- Then quietly said: --- "Okay." --- A pause. --- "I kind of want to hear the rest." 😄🎤🗳️📊🚐 --- # Chapter 29 — The Triad Isn't Real Movement The representative stood at the microphone. The crowd cheered. The banner waved proudly behind him. --- ## TRIAD ISN'T REAL --- Ace was staring directly at the man. --- The man was staring directly at Ace. --- Neither side appeared aware of the irony. --- The representative adjusted his glasses. --- Cleared his throat. --- Then began. --- "First." --- A dramatic pause. --- A very dramatic pause. --- "The so-called Triad." --- The crowd booed. --- The real Triad looked offended. --- Reasonably. --- The representative raised one finger. --- "Has anybody here ever seen all three members in the same place?" --- The crowd became quiet. --- The representative smiled. --- The smile of a man who believed he had evidence. --- The founder immediately pointed through the windshield. --- "They are literally in front of you." --- Nobody outside heard him. --- This somehow made it funnier. --- The representative continued. --- "No." --- A pause. --- "You have seen people claiming to be the Triad." --- The crowd murmured. --- The representative pointed dramatically toward the van. --- The van froze. --- "Even now." --- Another point. --- "They want you to believe." --- Another. --- "They want you to accept." --- Another. --- "They want you to stop asking questions." --- The crowd booed. --- The real Triad booed. --- The fake Trio booed. --- Nobody knew who was booing whom anymore. --- Night City remained undefeated. --- Then the representative produced a presentation. --- An actual presentation. --- A projector. --- Nobody knew where it came from. --- Nobody wanted to know. --- Slide One appeared. --- ## THEORY 1 ### "Ace" Is Three Different People --- The van exploded. --- Immediately. --- The crowd applauded. --- The representative pointed at three photographs. --- One was blurry. --- One was extremely blurry. --- One appeared to be a trash can. --- The representative nodded confidently. --- "As you can see." --- The fake Trio folded in half laughing. --- "As I can see WHAT?" Ace shouted. --- Nobody heard her. --- The representative zoomed in. --- The trash can remained a trash can. --- The crowd nodded thoughtfully. --- This was somehow worse. --- Then came Slide Two. --- ## THEORY 2 ### Mai Is A Committee --- The van achieved enlightenment. --- Mai slowly removed her glasses. --- The universal sign of danger. --- The representative pointed at a flowchart. --- A gigantic flowchart. --- An unnecessarily gigantic flowchart. --- The flowchart contained: --- Mai ↓ Mai ↓ Another Mai ↓ Technical Review Board ↓ Mai --- The crowd cheered. --- The representative nodded proudly. --- "It explains everything." --- Mai looked toward Rogue. --- "Am I allowed to commit a crime?" --- "No." --- "Disappointing." --- Then came Slide Three. --- The crowd leaned forward. --- The representative smiled. --- The title appeared. --- ## THEORY 3 ### Shammy Is Actually Several People Sharing One Coat --- The street detonated. --- The van detonated. --- The forum detonated. --- The founder physically slid off his seat. --- Shammy stared. --- Then stared harder. --- Then: --- "What." --- The representative pointed at a photograph. --- The photograph clearly showed Shammy. --- And only Shammy. --- The representative nodded confidently. --- "The evidence is overwhelming." --- "It is literally not." Ace replied. --- The representative clicked again. --- Another photograph. --- Another photograph. --- Another. --- The crowd cheered. --- The representative raised both arms. --- "And finally!" --- The entire street waited. --- The representative smiled. --- The smile of a man about to destroy himself publicly. --- The final slide appeared. --- The van froze. --- The founder froze. --- Leon froze. --- Even Rogue froze. --- Because the title read: --- ## IF THE TRIAD IS REAL --- A pause. --- ### PROVE IT --- The crowd erupted. --- The representative pointed dramatically toward the surveillance van. --- The cheering became deafening. --- The moderator looked excited. --- The crowd looked excited. --- The forum looked excited. --- The representative looked victorious. --- Inside the van... --- Everybody slowly turned toward Ace. --- Ace pointed at herself. --- "No." --- Everybody turned toward Mai. --- Mai pointed at herself. --- "No." --- Everybody turned toward Shammy. --- Shammy pointed at herself. --- "...maybe?" --- The live poll immediately updated. --- ### SHOULD THE TRIAD APPEAR ON STAGE? --- YES — 97% NO — 3% --- The founder screamed. --- The crowd cheered. --- The moderator grabbed the microphone. --- And delivered the single worst sentence anyone had heard all day. --- "Good news everybody!" --- The street became silent. --- The moderator smiled. --- "The Triad Cosplayers Have Agreed To Participate!" --- The crowd exploded. --- Inside the van... --- The real Triad stared at the moderator. --- Then at each other. --- Then at the poll. --- Then at the moderator again. --- Finally Ace sighed. --- A long suffering sigh. --- The sigh of a woman who had fought cyberpsychos, corporations, eldritch horrors, and Night City itself. --- Then she said: --- "...I want it officially recorded that this is the stupidest operation we've ever done." --- Rogue immediately nodded. --- "Unanimously approved." 😄🎤🚐📊🔥 --- # Chapter 30 — The Cosplayers The crowd was chanting. That was the problem. --- Not cheering. --- Not applauding. --- Chanting. --- Those were different things. --- Cheering was harmless. --- Chanting meant momentum. --- And momentum was how civilizations accidentally invented politics. --- Outside, the moderator had completely lost control. --- Which was impressive. --- Because he had never possessed control to begin with. --- "TRI-AD!" --- The crowd answered. --- "TRI-AD!" --- Again. --- "TRI-AD!" --- Inside the van, the real Triad watched in horror. --- Ace pointed through the windshield. --- "Those people think we're cosplayers." --- "Correct." Mai replied. --- "They are chanting for us." --- "Also correct." --- "They do not know we're us." --- "Still correct." --- Ace stared. --- Then slowly nodded. --- "...okay, that's actually kind of funny." --- Fair. --- The moderator grabbed the microphone. --- Again. --- The microphone squealed. --- Again. --- Several people applauded. --- Nobody knew why. --- "PLEASE WELCOME!" --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The moderator pointed dramatically toward the van. --- The van immediately wanted to be somewhere else. --- "THE TRIAD COSPLAY GROUP!" --- The street erupted. --- The founder looked at Rogue. --- Rogue looked at the founder. --- Then both looked at Ace. --- Ace immediately pointed at herself. --- "No." --- The crowd got louder. --- "NO." --- Louder. --- "NO." --- Even louder. --- Then the live poll updated. --- ### IF THE COSPLAYERS REFUSE ### THEY ARE PROBABLY THE REAL TRIAD --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- The founder physically hit the dashboard. --- Leon stopped breathing. --- The fake Trio collapsed. --- Even Mai looked offended by the logic. --- "That makes no sense." --- The poll immediately updated. --- ### MAI WOULD SAY THAT +12% --- The van achieved transcendence. --- Nobody remained connected to reality. --- Then Rogue did something terrifying. --- She smiled. --- Not the fixer smile. --- Not the hunting smile. --- The amused smile. --- The one that meant somebody else was about to suffer. --- "Oh." --- Ace immediately noticed. --- "No." --- "Oh yes." Rogue replied. --- Then she opened the van door. --- The crowd got louder. --- The moderator got excited. --- The founder got nervous. --- Ace got suspicious. --- All correct reactions. --- Rogue stepped out. --- The crowd erupted. --- Immediately. --- "ROGUE COSPLAYER!" --- The street exploded. --- Rogue froze. --- For exactly one second. --- Then looked at the sky. --- As if searching for patience. --- The sky declined to help. --- The moderator ran over. --- Microphone in hand. --- "Oh wow." --- Rogue stared. --- The moderator continued. --- "Your costume is incredible." --- The crowd applauded. --- Rogue looked at Ace. --- Ace looked away. --- Cowardly. --- Correctly. --- Then the moderator made the worst mistake of his life. --- He handed Rogue the microphone. --- The crowd went silent. --- Waiting. --- Thousands of eyes. --- Thousands of expectations. --- Thousands of internet users. --- The most dangerous lifeform in Night City. --- Rogue stared at the microphone. --- Then at the crowd. --- Then at the forum thread. --- Then back at the crowd. --- A long pause. --- Then: --- "Go home." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- Thunderously. --- The moderator nodded enthusiastically. --- "Classic Rogue dialogue." --- The street exploded. --- Rogue lowered the microphone. --- Then raised it again. --- "No." --- More cheering. --- Even louder. --- The founder had stopped functioning. --- Completely. --- The fake Trio were dying. --- Leon had tears in his eyes. --- The moderator was taking notes. --- Actual notes. --- Then Rogue pointed directly at the van. --- At Ace. --- At Mai. --- At Shammy. --- And said: --- "Those three idiots are the real Triad." --- Silence. --- The crowd processed the statement. --- Thought about it. --- Considered it carefully. --- Then somebody shouted: --- "SHE'S COMMITTED TO THE BIT!" --- The entire street detonated. --- The moderator nearly fell off the stage. --- The live poll updated. --- ### ROGUE ROLEPLAY PERFORMANCE 98/100 --- Inside the van... --- Ace slowly buried her face in her hands. --- Mai removed her glasses. --- Shammy looked like she might actually pass out laughing. --- And Rogue... --- Rogue stood in the middle of a cheering crowd. --- Telling the truth. --- And absolutely nobody believed her. 😄🎤🚐🔥📊 --- # Chapter 31 — Internet Logic The crowd was cheering. For the truth. --- That was the problem. --- Not a lie. --- Not misinformation. --- Not propaganda. --- The truth. --- Rogue had literally told them the truth. --- Directly. --- Clearly. --- Without ambiguity. --- And the crowd had decided it was performance art. --- Night City remained undefeated. --- Rogue stood on stage. --- Holding the microphone. --- Looking increasingly willing to commit crimes. --- The moderator looked delighted. --- "Fantastic commitment." --- Rogue stared. --- "Commitment." --- The moderator nodded. --- "The authenticity is incredible." --- The crowd applauded. --- The fake Trio exploded. --- Again. --- At this point they were functioning entirely through oxygen deprivation. --- Inside the van, Ace pointed at the crowd. --- "This." --- A pause. --- "This is why nobody trusts eyewitnesses." --- Mai immediately nodded. --- "Strong supporting evidence." --- Then the live thread updated. --- Thousands of comments. --- Moving too fast to read. --- Unfortunately Leon was trying. --- "Oh no." --- The van groaned. --- Collectively. --- "What now?" Shammy asked. --- Leon pointed at the screen. --- The newest theory was gaining traction. --- Rapidly. --- Dangerously rapidly. --- The title read: --- ## ROGUE IS TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING --- The founder immediately stopped breathing. --- "No." --- "Yes." Leon replied. --- "No." --- "Very yes." --- The thread continued. --- > She can't say it directly. --- Another comment. --- > Corporate pressure. --- Another. --- > The real Triad must be nearby. --- Another. --- > Check rooftops. --- The van exploded. --- Hard. --- Ace looked physically offended. --- "We are literally in the van." --- The poll immediately updated. --- ### MOST LIKELY TRIAD LOCATION --- Rooftops — 42% --- Sewers — 23% --- Ventilation Network — 18% --- Abandoned Warehouse — 11% --- Van — 1% --- The van died. --- Completely. --- The founder stared. --- Then stared harder. --- Then: --- "ONE PERCENT." --- Leon checked. --- Then nodded. --- "That's actually higher than usual." --- The founder nearly climbed out of a moving vehicle. --- Then outside... --- Things became worse. --- A man approached the stage. --- Nobody knew him. --- Nobody recognized him. --- He grabbed a microphone. --- The moderator allowed this. --- Which was its own problem. --- The man cleared his throat. --- Then announced: --- "I have evidence." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The founder immediately pointed. --- "NO HE DOESN'T." --- The man opened a folder. --- The van froze. --- Because somehow... --- Everybody had folders now. --- The man pulled out a photograph. --- Then held it up. --- The crowd leaned forward. --- The photograph showed Ace. --- Very clearly. --- Very obviously. --- Undeniably Ace. --- The crowd studied it. --- Then the man announced: --- "This proves nothing." --- Thunderous applause. --- The van exploded. --- Because somehow... --- Somehow... --- The crowd agreed. --- The man continued. --- "Anybody can dress like Ace." --- More applause. --- The photograph was literally Ace. --- The real Ace was ten meters away. --- The crowd remained unconvinced. --- Then Mai noticed something. --- A pattern. --- The terrifying thing about internet arguments. --- Nobody was trying to prove anything. --- They were trying to win. --- Which was different. --- Very different. --- Then the moderator returned to the microphone. --- Smiling. --- Always a bad sign. --- "We have time for one final question." --- The crowd quieted. --- The forum quieted. --- The live thread slowed. --- Even Rogue looked suspicious. --- The moderator checked the datapad. --- Read the question. --- Then immediately started laughing. --- Which worried everyone. --- Especially Rogue. --- The moderator looked toward the van. --- Then toward the crowd. --- Then finally read the question aloud. --- "Can anybody present conclusive proof that the Triad exists?" --- The crowd erupted. --- Inside the van... --- Ace slowly looked around. --- At Mai. At Shammy. At the founder. At Leon. At the fake Trio. --- Then quietly said: --- "I have a terrible idea." --- The entire van answered instantly. --- "No." 😄🚐📊🎤🔥 --- # Chapter 32 — Ace Has An Idea The words hung in the air. --- "I have a terrible idea." --- Every single person in the van immediately rejected it. --- "No." --- Ace folded her arms. --- "You don't even know what it is." --- "We don't need to." Mai replied. --- "Statistically speaking." --- A pause. --- "Your ideas have a history." --- The founder immediately nodded. --- "She has documentation." --- "THAT'S NOT HELPING." --- The fake Trio instantly pointed. --- "Actually it is." --- Fair. --- Then outside... --- The moderator repeated the question. --- "Can anybody present conclusive proof that the Triad exists?" --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The thread exploded. --- The polls multiplied. --- Internet users were now reproducing by mitosis. --- Night City remained undefeated. --- Ace watched the stage. --- Then watched the crowd. --- Then smiled. --- The smile got everybody's attention immediately. --- Because it wasn't the combat smile. --- It wasn't the danger smile. --- It wasn't even the curiosity smile. --- It was worse. --- The _I'm about to weaponize stupidity_ smile. --- Mai noticed instantly. --- "Oh no." --- "Oh yes." Ace replied. --- Then she opened the van door. --- The founder pointed. --- "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" --- "To prove something." --- "No." --- "Yes." --- "No." --- "Very yes." --- Then Ace stepped out into the crowd. --- Nobody noticed. --- This was important. --- Nobody noticed. --- Because the crowd was busy arguing. --- A man was currently explaining why Ace was actually four different mercenaries sharing a sword budget. --- Another was explaining why Shammy was a collective hallucination. --- A third was presenting a pie chart. --- Nobody knew what the pie chart represented. --- Not even the presenter. --- Then Ace walked directly up to the stage. --- The moderator noticed. --- Immediately brightened. --- And made the worst possible assumption. --- "A COSPLAYER!" --- The crowd CHEERED. --- Ace smiled. --- The moderator handed her a microphone. --- Mistake. --- Huge mistake. --- The crowd quieted. --- Waiting. --- Ace tapped the microphone. --- Then pointed at herself. --- "My name is Ace." --- Thunderous applause. --- The moderator nodded. --- "Incredible commitment." --- The crowd cheered harder. --- Ace pointed at herself again. --- "No." --- A pause. --- "I am actually Ace." --- The crowd exploded. --- People were standing now. --- The thread was melting. --- Someone started recording. --- The moderator wiped away a tear. --- "The dedication." --- Inside the van... --- The founder physically hit the dashboard. --- "It's happening again." --- Rogue was laughing too hard to help. --- Then Ace reached into her jacket. --- The crowd leaned forward. --- She produced an Afterlife contract. --- A real one. --- Signed. --- Stamped. --- Official. --- The crowd examined it. --- Then immediately dismissed it. --- "PROP." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- Ace pointed at the contract. --- "This is real." --- The moderator nodded. --- "The realism is extraordinary." --- The crowd erupted. --- Ace stared. --- Then looked toward the van. --- Then toward the sky. --- Then back toward the crowd. --- Finally: --- "...okay." --- The dangerous smile returned. --- The _weaponized stupidity_ smile. --- Then Ace raised the microphone. --- And said: --- "Fine." --- The crowd quieted. --- "If I'm not Ace..." --- A pause. --- "Then who am I?" --- The crowd immediately started shouting answers. --- Dozens. --- Hundreds. --- Thousands. --- Then one answer somehow rose above all the others. --- The entire street chanting together. --- Louder. --- Louder. --- LOUDER. --- "VENT ACE!" --- The van exploded. --- The fake Trio died. --- The founder stopped functioning. --- Leon fell out of his chair. --- Even Mai had reached the end of her processing capacity. --- Outside... --- The crowd had apparently invented a new person. --- A new person standing directly in front of them. --- And Ace slowly lowered the microphone. --- Then looked toward the van. --- Then toward Rogue. --- Then back toward the crowd. --- Finally: --- "...you know what?" --- A pause. --- Then: --- "I deserve this." --- And the crowd CHEERED for Vent Ace. 😄🎤🚐🔥📊🕳️ --- # Chapter 33 — The Rise Of Vent Ace The worst part wasn't that the crowd had invented Vent Ace. The worst part... --- Was how quickly they accepted him. --- Not questioned. Not debated. Not examined. --- Accepted. --- Immediately. --- The crowd was chanting now. --- "VENT ACE!" --- "VENT ACE!" --- "VENT ACE!" --- Ace stood on stage. --- Looking directly at the consequences of humanity. --- Then pointed at herself. --- "I'm literally Ace." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The moderator nodded enthusiastically. --- "Amazing character work." --- The crowd erupted. --- Inside the van, Rogue had completely given up. --- Not professionally. --- Spiritually. --- The founder was staring at the live thread. --- Then staring harder. --- Then making noises. --- Bad noises. --- The kind of noises made by people watching a house fire spread into neighboring zip codes. --- "Oh no." --- Nobody even reacted anymore. --- The phrase had lost all meaning. --- "What now?" Shammy asked. --- The founder pointed at the screen. --- A new poll. --- Of course it was a poll. --- ### IS VENT ACE A SEPARATE PERSON? --- YES — 79% NO — 21% --- The van exploded. --- Again. --- Mai removed her glasses. --- Then put them back on. --- Then removed them again. --- A rare diagnostic maneuver. --- The results remained unchanged. --- "This is incorrect." --- Leon checked the comments. --- Then immediately started laughing. --- Again. --- "Oh." --- The founder closed his eyes. --- "No." --- "Oh yes." --- Leon turned the screen around. --- The top comment read: --- > Real Ace would claim to be Ace. > > Vent Ace would also claim to be Ace. > > Therefore this proves nothing. --- The van achieved orbit. --- The fake Trio collapsed. --- Rogue actually had tears in her eyes now. --- Then another comment. --- > We need to locate the original Ace. --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The original Ace was currently holding a microphone. --- Ten meters away. --- Nobody cared. --- Then the moderator grabbed the microphone. --- Which was never good. --- Ever. --- "Ladies and gentlemen!" --- The crowd roared. --- The moderator pointed dramatically at Ace. --- Or Vent Ace. --- Or whatever reality had become. --- "We have a special guest." --- The crowd leaned forward. --- The moderator checked the datapad. --- Then blinked. --- Then checked again. --- Then looked confused. --- The crowd waited. --- The moderator finally read the submission. --- Slowly. --- Carefully. --- As though the words themselves were dangerous. --- "Question for Vent Ace." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- Ace looked physically wounded. --- The moderator continued. --- "If you are Vent Ace..." --- A pause. --- "Where is Ace?" --- The crowd became silent. --- Waiting. --- Expectant. --- Hopeful. --- Inside the van... --- Everybody stared at Ace. --- Ace stared at the crowd. --- Then at the moderator. --- Then at the crowd again. --- And suddenly... --- The weaponized stupidity smile returned. --- Rogue noticed. --- Immediately. --- "Oh no." --- "Oh yes." Ace replied. --- Then she raised the microphone. --- The crowd leaned closer. --- The live thread stopped moving. --- Thousands of people waiting. --- For an answer. --- Any answer. --- Ace pointed dramatically toward a nearby rooftop. --- Nobody had been looking at the rooftop. --- Until now. --- Then she declared: --- "Ace is up there." --- The crowd exploded. --- Absolutely exploded. --- Half the street immediately turned toward the rooftop. --- The other half started running toward the rooftop. --- The live thread melted. --- Polls appeared. --- Maps appeared. --- Arguments appeared. --- The moderator looked overwhelmed. --- The founder looked horrified. --- Mai looked fascinated. --- And Rogue... --- Rogue slowly stood up. --- Because for the first time all day... --- A path had opened. --- A beautiful path. --- A path leading directly away from the crowd. --- She pointed toward the rooftop chaos. --- Then toward the opposite end of the street. --- Then calmly said: --- "Everyone." --- The van became silent. --- Rogue smiled. --- The survival smile. --- The professional smile. --- The _we are leaving before they create Vent Shammy_ smile. --- Then: --- "Run." 😄🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🎤🚐📊🕳️ --- # Chapter 34 — The Escape Plan Running should have worked. That was the problem. --- It should have worked. --- The crowd was distracted. --- The rooftop was occupied. --- Three separate polls had appeared. --- ### IS ACE ON THE ROOF? --- ### WHICH ROOF? --- ### WAS VENT ACE LYING? --- The internet was busy attacking itself. --- This was the perfect opportunity. --- Rogue pointed down the street. --- "Move." --- Nobody argued. --- Not even Ace. --- That alone proved how serious things had become. --- The Triad exited the van. --- The fake Trio followed. --- The founder followed. --- Leon followed. --- Because at this point nobody trusted him unsupervised. --- The crowd remained focused on the rooftop. --- People were pointing. --- People were zooming cameras. --- One man appeared to be measuring angles. --- Another was using a drone. --- The drone was immediately attacked by a seagull. --- Night City remained undefeated. --- The group began moving. --- Casually. --- Professionally. --- Quietly. --- Then somebody shouted. --- "Oh my god." --- The entire group froze. --- Nobody moved. --- Nobody breathed. --- Then the voice continued. --- "THERE'S A SECOND ROOF." --- The crowd immediately changed direction. --- The group continued walking. --- Nobody questioned it. --- Because apparently the internet had discovered architecture. --- Then Ace noticed something. --- A street vendor. --- The vendor was selling shirts. --- Fresh shirts. --- Brand-new shirts. --- Shirts that had not existed twenty minutes ago. --- Ace pointed. --- "No." --- The vendor proudly displayed the merchandise. --- ### I SAW VENT ACE --- ### TEAM ROOFTOP --- ### FREE THE REAL ACE --- The founder physically stopped walking. --- "No." --- The vendor pointed at him. --- "Oh hey." --- The founder immediately looked nervous. --- The vendor smiled. --- "Love your work." --- The founder looked like he'd just been accused of a felony. --- "I don't have work." --- The vendor pointed at the forum. --- The founder looked even worse. --- Fair. --- Then they reached the corner. --- Freedom. --- Sweet freedom. --- One more block. --- One more street. --- One more— --- A microphone squealed. --- The entire group froze. --- Slowly. --- Painfully. --- Everybody turned. --- The moderator was back on stage. --- This was unfortunate. --- Very unfortunate. --- The moderator looked excited. --- Nobody liked that. --- Not anymore. --- "Ladies and gentlemen!" --- The crowd roared. --- The moderator pointed dramatically at a datapad. --- Then announced: --- "We have breaking news!" --- The group collectively groaned. --- Because nothing good had ever followed those words. --- Ever. --- The moderator continued. --- "The poll has concluded." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The founder looked physically ill. --- "What poll?" --- Leon checked. --- Then immediately stopped smiling. --- "Oh." --- Nobody liked that. --- "What now?" Shammy asked. --- Leon turned the screen around. --- The result appeared. --- ### COMMUNITY REPRESENTATIVE ELECTION --- Winner: --- **FOUNDER** --- 68% --- The founder stopped walking. --- Stopped breathing. --- Stopped existing. --- The crowd exploded. --- Absolutely exploded. --- The moderator raised both arms. --- "The community has chosen!" --- The crowd roared. --- People were chanting now. --- Again. --- "FOUN-DER!" --- "FOUN-DER!" --- "FOUN-DER!" --- The founder pointed at himself. --- "...me." --- The moderator nodded. --- "YOU." --- The founder pointed toward the crowd. --- "I didn't run." --- The moderator checked the rules. --- Then nodded. --- "Correct." --- The founder stared. --- Then: --- "THAT'S NOT HOW ELECTIONS WORK." --- The moderator checked again. --- Then shrugged. --- "Apparently it is." --- The crowd cheered. --- The fake Trio collapsed. --- Rogue was laughing too hard to help. --- Mai looked genuinely fascinated. --- Leon looked proud. --- Which was suspicious. --- Then the moderator delivered the final blow. --- "The representative must now give a victory speech." --- The crowd erupted. --- The founder slowly turned toward Rogue. --- Then toward Ace. --- Then toward Mai. --- Then toward Shammy. --- Then toward the sky. --- The sky, once again, refused to help. --- Finally he sighed. --- A long sigh. --- The sigh of a nineteen-year-old noodle enthusiast who had accidentally founded a conspiracy forum, created an economy, survived Rogue, lost control of reality, and somehow become elected office. --- Then he quietly asked: --- "...can I resign?" --- The live poll appeared instantly. --- ### SHOULD THE FOUNDER BE ALLOWED TO RESIGN? --- NO — 96% YES — 4% --- The founder closed his eyes. --- And for the first time all day... --- Even Rogue looked sorry for him. 😄🗳️🎤🍜🔥 --- # Chapter 35 — The Victory Speech The Founder had won the election. Against his will. --- This was important. --- He had not campaigned. --- He had not applied. --- He had not volunteered. --- He had actively attempted to leave. --- The community had interpreted this as leadership. --- Night City remained undefeated. --- The crowd was chanting. --- "FOUN-DER!" --- "FOUN-DER!" --- "FOUN-DER!" --- The Founder stared at the stage. --- The stage stared back. --- The microphone waited patiently. --- Like an execution device. --- The moderator smiled. --- The smile of a man who had no idea what he was unleashing. --- "Your speech!" --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The Founder pointed at himself. --- "...why." --- Nobody answered. --- Because there wasn't one. --- Eventually Rogue sighed. --- Then pointed toward the stage. --- "Go." --- The Founder looked betrayed. --- "You too?" --- "Especially me." --- Fair. --- The crowd spotted movement. --- Immediately. --- The cheering intensified. --- The Founder walked toward the stage. --- Like a condemned man approaching destiny. --- The fake Trio followed. --- The real Triad followed. --- Rogue followed. --- Leon followed. --- At this point everyone was invested. --- The Founder climbed onto the platform. --- The microphone squealed. --- The crowd quieted. --- Thousands of eyes. --- Thousands of expectations. --- Thousands of internet users. --- The most terrifying audience in human history. --- The Founder stared at them. --- Then stared longer. --- Then longer still. --- The silence stretched. --- Awkward. --- Painful. --- Glorious. --- Finally: --- "Hello." --- Thunderous applause. --- The Founder physically recoiled. --- "I didn't even say anything." --- More applause. --- The moderator nodded. --- "Strong opening." --- The Founder looked ready to commit a misdemeanor. --- Then he tried again. --- "Okay." --- A pause. --- "I have no idea what is happening." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The live poll updated. --- ### RELATABLE +9% --- The Founder closed his eyes. --- Then reopened them. --- Then decided something. --- Something dangerous. --- Something honest. --- The worst possible choice. --- "Fine." --- The crowd leaned closer. --- The Founder pointed toward the gathering. --- At the Team Mai banner. --- At the Team Shammy banner. --- At the Vent Theory Society. --- At the Triad Isn't Real Movement. --- At all of it. --- Then asked: --- "Do any of you realize how insane this looks?" --- Silence. --- The crowd considered this. --- Actually considered it. --- For nearly three seconds. --- Then somebody shouted: --- "WE'RE IN NIGHT CITY." --- The crowd erupted. --- The Founder looked defeated. --- Because that was unfortunately a complete argument. --- Then he pointed toward the Vent Theory Society. --- "You rented a stage." --- Cheers. --- "You made charts." --- Cheers. --- "You formed committees." --- Cheers. --- "You held an election." --- Louder cheers. --- The Founder stared. --- Then: --- "You know what?" --- The crowd leaned in. --- The Founder nodded. --- "Fair enough." --- The street exploded. --- The live thread melted. --- The moderator looked emotional. --- The fake Trio were crying. --- Then the Founder made the fatal mistake. --- He relaxed. --- Just a little. --- Just enough. --- Because the moderator immediately saw an opening. --- And grabbed it. --- "Wonderful speech." --- The Founder froze. --- "No." --- "Oh yes." --- The moderator checked his datapad. --- Then smiled. --- A very dangerous smile. --- "The community has one final item of business." --- The entire street groaned. --- Collectively. --- Even the crowd. --- Nobody trusted that sentence. --- The moderator cleared his throat. --- Then read aloud: --- ### MOTION 47 --- The Founder immediately looked suspicious. --- "What motion?" --- The moderator smiled wider. --- "The community wishes to establish an annual holiday." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The Founder stopped functioning. --- "A WHAT." --- The moderator consulted the vote. --- Then announced: --- "Founder's Day." --- The street detonated. --- Absolutely detonated. --- The Founder pointed at himself. --- "NO." --- The live poll appeared. --- ### SHOULD FOUNDER'S DAY EXIST? --- YES — 98% NO — 2% --- The Founder looked around desperately. --- At Rogue. --- At Ace. --- At Mai. --- At Shammy. --- Nobody helped. --- Not one of them. --- Because they were all laughing too hard. --- Then Ace stepped forward. --- Took the microphone. --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The Founder looked horrified. --- Ace smiled. --- The dangerous smile. --- The weaponized stupidity smile. --- Then she said: --- "I would like to officially support Founder's Day." --- The crowd became a supernova. --- The Founder made a sound nobody had ever heard before. --- And somewhere in the distance... --- A street vendor was already printing shirts. 😄🎤🗳️🍜👕🔥 --- # Chapter 36 — Founder's Day The shirt vendor had moved fast. Too fast. --- Dangerously fast. --- Suspiciously fast. --- By Night City standards. --- Which meant he was probably a professional. --- The crowd was still cheering. --- Ace was still holding the microphone. --- The Founder was still experiencing a system failure. --- And somewhere in the middle of it all... --- The first shirt appeared. --- Freshly printed. --- Still warm. --- The vendor held it up proudly. --- The crowd gasped. --- The Founder looked. --- Then immediately regretted having eyes. --- The shirt read: --- ## I SURVIVED FOUNDER'S DAY --- The holiday hadn't existed for three minutes. --- There was already merchandise. --- Night City remained undefeated. --- The moderator checked another poll. --- Then immediately brightened. --- Nobody liked that. --- Not anymore. --- "What now?" Rogue asked. --- The moderator smiled. --- "The community would like to establish traditions." --- The Founder physically sat down on the stage. --- "No." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The moderator looked at the datapad. --- Then started reading. --- "Tradition proposal number one." --- A pause. --- "Commemorative noodles." --- Thunderous applause. --- The noodle vendor looked confused. --- Then looked at the growing line. --- Then looked at the growing profits. --- Then nodded. --- Fair. --- Then the moderator continued. --- "Tradition proposal number two." --- The crowd waited. --- "The Annual Vent Walk." --- The street exploded. --- The Vent Theory Society immediately began celebrating. --- Several people hugged. --- One man started crying. --- Ace pointed at them. --- "No." --- The crowd interpreted this as support. --- The applause doubled. --- Then came proposal three. --- The moderator looked nervous. --- Which was new. --- Very new. --- He cleared his throat. --- Then read it anyway. --- "The community proposes that every Founder's Day conclude with a ceremonial debate." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- The Founder looked exhausted. --- "What debate?" --- The moderator checked. --- Then sighed. --- Then looked toward Ace. --- Then toward the crowd. --- Then back at the datapad. --- Finally: --- "Is Ace real?" --- The crowd erupted. --- The Founder stood up. --- Immediately. --- "ABSOLUTELY NOT." --- The vote percentage jumped. --- ### KEEP THE TRADITION 99% --- The Founder sat back down. --- Defeated. --- Then Leon noticed something. --- A detail. --- A very important detail. --- A horrifying detail. --- "Oh no." --- The entire stage groaned. --- Collectively. --- Nobody even asked anymore. --- Leon simply turned the screen around. --- A new thread had appeared. --- Already pinned. --- Already trending. --- Already completely out of control. --- The title read: --- ## FOUNDER'S DAY 2078 PLANNING COMMITTEE --- The Founder stopped breathing. --- The fake Trio collapsed. --- The real Triad looked offended. --- Even Rogue looked impressed. --- The current year wasn't even over. --- The holiday was less than ten minutes old. --- And somebody was already planning next year's event. --- Night City remained absolutely undefeated. --- Then the moderator raised the microphone one final time. --- The crowd slowly quieted. --- The sun was beginning to set. --- The noodle vendor had sold out twice. --- The Vent Theory Society had somehow gained members. --- The Team Shammy people were still just happy to be there. --- The Mai Explained It faction had formed three subcommittees. --- The Triad Isn't Real Movement had become even more convinced. --- Everything was proceeding normally. --- By forum standards. --- The moderator smiled. --- Then announced: --- "Ladies and gentlemen." --- The crowd responded. --- "Ladies, gentlemen, and people who believe Ace lives in the ventilation system." --- The crowd CHEERED. --- Ace looked physically wounded. --- The moderator pointed dramatically toward the Founder. --- Then declared: --- "Your elected representative." --- The crowd roared. --- The Founder looked toward Rogue. --- Then toward Ace. --- Then toward Mai. --- Then toward Shammy. --- Then toward the sky. --- The sky, for the final time, refused to help. --- Finally he sighed. --- A long. Deep. Profound sigh. --- Then took the microphone. --- And delivered the single most important statement of his entire political career. --- "Please." --- The crowd became silent. --- Waiting. --- Hopeful. --- Inspired. --- The Founder pointed at the forum. --- Then at the crowd. --- Then at every single person present. --- And said: --- "Go touch grass." --- Silence. --- Absolute silence. --- The crowd considered it. --- The forum considered it. --- The moderator considered it. --- Then somebody shouted from the back: --- "WE'RE OUTSIDE." --- The crowd detonated. --- The stage detonated. --- The forum detonated. --- The Founder lowered the microphone. --- Closed his eyes. --- And accepted that he would never recover from this. --- Not socially. Not emotionally. Not politically. --- As the cheering echoed across the street... --- Rogue lit a cigarette. --- Ace laughed. --- Mai shook her head. --- Shammy smiled. --- And for one brief, glorious moment... --- Nobody was hunting anything. Nobody was saving the city. Nobody was fighting corporations. --- They were just watching Night City do what it did best. --- Take something stupid... --- And make it legendary. 😄🍜🎤👕🗳️🕳️ **END OF THE GREAT FORUM INCIDENT**