The safehouse was quiet. Not tense quiet anymore. Real quiet. The kind that only appeared after prolonged disaster finally released its grip and everybody’s nervous systems collectively realized they were still alive. Rain tapped softly against the windows. The kitchen lights glowed warm. Someone — probably Lena — had forced actual food into the refrigerator instead of the usual combat-survival disaster assortment. Shammy lay stretched across the couch under blankets looking approximately seventy percent recovered and one hundred percent offended by recovery protocols. “I still think Victor exaggerated.” From the kitchen: “He absolutely did not.” Lena again. Always listening. Terrifying woman. Ace sat cross-legged on the floor beside the coffee table cleaning one katana with the kind of careful focus normally reserved for bomb disposal. Mai worked through transport reports nearby while Reyes occupied the armchair like somebody personally insulted her posture three years ago and she still hadn’t forgiven them. For once: nobody was bleeding. Then Mai’s holo chimed. Kiro. Mai opened the message automatically. And immediately stopped moving. Reyes noticed first. “…that face usually means either cyberpsychosis or taxes.” Mai stared silently at the holo for another second. Then: “Oh no.” Ace looked up immediately. “What.” Mai slowly rotated the screen outward. Kiro’s message contained exactly one line: > local feeds finally noticed you idiots > this is the funniest thing i’ve seen all month > enjoy > and shammy: NO LAUGHING TOO HARD > _wink_ Below it: a link. Reyes groaned instantly. “Oh absolutely not.” Ace tilted her head slightly. “What.” Mai opened the feed. And the safehouse immediately became a mistake. --- The local data thread title alone almost killed Reyes instantly. > **WHO THE HELL ARE THE THREE PSYCHOS RUINING SANTO OPERATIONS** Below it: six hundred and twelve comments. And counting. Shammy sat up slightly despite Lena immediately pointing threateningly from the kitchen. “No sudden movements.” “I need context.” “You need a spine that functions.” “Debatable.” Mai started scrolling. The first attached image appeared: grainy traffic-cam footage of Ace mid-movement during the tunnel collapse. Unfortunately the frame timing made her look less human and more like a knife-based urban cryptid. The caption underneath read: > short demon spotted before three separate 6th street crews disappeared Reyes made a choking noise. Ace stared at the image. “…I hate this city.” “Oh no,” Reyes wheezed, “it gets worse.” Mai scrolled farther. --- > **THE TALL ONE IS A WEATHER NETRUNNER** > > my cousin works near old santo transit and swears the air pressure changed before every firefight Shammy slowly lowered her face into both hands. “No.” Ace immediately: “Yes.” Mai kept scrolling. --- > **THE SILVER-HAIRED ONE IS DEFINITELY EX-MILITECH** > > nobody talks that calm while people are actively dying Reyes pointed instantly. “Okay that one’s fair.” Mai looked genuinely offended. “I do not sound militarized.” Everyone else in the room looked at her silently. Mai paused. “…irrelevant.” --- Then they hit the conspiracy tier. > **THE SHORT ONE CAN SEE TEN SECONDS INTO THE FUTURE** > > my uncle saw her dodge sniper fire BEFORE the shot happened Ace blinked once slowly. “…I would like that ability actually.” Reyes was already losing structural integrity in the armchair. “Oh my god keep scrolling.” Mai obeyed. Massive mistake. --- > **THEY’RE NOT A CREW THEY’RE A FAILED ARASAKA BLACK PROJECT** > > explains why one controls weather and one moves like a broken animation rig Ace stared blankly at the screen. “…broken animation rig.” Shammy started laughing. Bad idea. Immediately bad idea. The movement pulled painfully across healing nerves and she folded sideways with a horrified wheezing sound halfway between laughter and physical regret. Lena appeared from the kitchen at speeds previously thought impossible for civilian humans. “I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.” “I’m okay—” “You are literally not.” Shammy kept laughing anyway. Which unfortunately triggered Reyes too. And then Ace. And once Ace started laughing the entire safehouse collapsed completely. Not graceful laughter either. Destroyed laughter. Weeks of pressure detonating all at once. Mai tried maintaining dignity for approximately eleven seconds. Then she hit another post. And failed catastrophically. --- > **the tall one is probably the only thing stopping the other two from becoming domestic terrorists** Silence. Then every eye in the room slowly turned toward Shammy. Shammy looked horrified. “…that’s uncomfortably accurate.” Ace laughed hard enough to nearly fall sideways off the floor cushions. Reyes was openly crying now. Mai covered her face with one hand trying unsuccessfully to regain control. Lena looked around the room at the collective collapse happening in front of her. Then calmly sat down beside Shammy. “…okay maybe this is medically beneficial actually.” “SEE?” Shammy wheezed triumphantly. “No. You’re still not allowed to laugh this hard.” “Authoritarian.” “Correct.” Mai kept scrolling despite obvious danger. --- > **heard they made an entire 6th street logistics chain disappear without killing everyone** > > honestly that’s scarier That one quieted the room slightly. Just for a second. Because underneath all the absurdity, Night City had still understood something real. Pressure. Consequences. Reyes leaned back slowly wiping tears from one eye. “…okay that one actually bothers me.” Ace tilted her head slightly. “Why.” “Because that means people noticed the restraint.” Interesting silence after that. Then Shammy smiled faintly from under blankets and painkillers. “Good.” Simple word. But it settled softly into the room. Because yes. Good. The city saw monsters constantly. What it almost never saw was people stopping before becoming one. Mai finally closed the feed before somebody actually injured themselves laughing. The safehouse settled slowly afterward. Warm. Loose. Human again. Kiro sent one final message seconds later: > seriously though > don’t let shammy laugh herself back into surgery > victor would kill all of you personally Ace stared at the message. Then very seriously looked toward Shammy. “We should obey Kiro.” Shammy threw a pillow at her immediately. And for the first time since Ace 78 began, the safehouse sounded completely alive again.